How To Keep The Spark Alive – Lesson 4.3 – Money And Work: The Joy And Pain

Welcome to Lesson #21 of the How To Keep The Spark Alive course!

In the last lesson, you investigated the role of friendships in your relationship. In this lesson, you’ll examine how work and money can be used for necessities and fun or can become a hostile third party in your relationship.

What Is Money?

That may seem a strange question, but money can be more than a paycheck.

Money has power:

1. It enables you to purchase what you need to live a fun and fulfilling life.
2. It can also be a symbol of who has the power in the relationship.

You and your partner can choose the role money will play in your life. You decide how it will be used. It’s a crucial choice and one that will critically affect your relationship.

Have Money Work for You, Not Against You

Think of money as an energy that you need to channel. You need to tell it what to do, not allow it to govern your life.

To have money work for you, work together to manage it with these techniques:

1. Create a budget. Making a budget “tells” the energy of money what it’s going to do for you.
   • When working together, you discover your differences and similarities in your attitude and beliefs about money, spending, and saving.
   • Discussing money is a major challenge in many relationships. Use your communication tools to ease the process.
   • Remember that your relationship is the primary focus of your life. Money is a tool, a resource.
2. Be aware of emotional differences about money. Childhood issues about money and control tend to surface during discussions about money, especially if the two of you view money differently.
   • On one extreme, one may want to save all the money they can for fear of not having enough.
   • On the other extreme, one will spend money as soon as they get it, so they can purchase what they need and want in case there’s no money later.
   • Most challenges about money are emotional. Remember to ask, “How old do I feel?” This will reveal the age these emotions are from.

The Biggest Challenges Of Money

As wonderful as money is, you can end up in a painful predicament if you forget that money is a helpful resource that you share. When money becomes the source of control or self-image, difficult challenges can occur between couples and in families.

Unfortunately, the pattern of using money as control is exemplified in all of society. You can be different. Money can contribute to the strength of your partnership and family when your life with each other is based upon trust, mutual respect, and sharing money for the support of your family.

With financial concerns, put the needs and well-being of your family and each other first:

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