How To Keep The Spark Alive – Lesson 5.1 – Talking About Sex

Welcome to Module 5 of the “How To Keep The Spark Alive” course!

When people hear the word passion, they usually think sex. You may wonder, why did we decide to save the module on sex for last? The answer is simple. Our intention is for you to enjoy a healthy relationship that is intimate both emotionally and physically.

Emotional intimacy will lead to a fun, deep, fulfilling, and passionate sexual relationship.

Everything you’ve studied before, how to handle living together, healthy communication, disagreeing with each other in a healthy manner, and the previous module on personal boundaries, give you the foundation for emotional intimacy.

In this module, you’ll learn about the difference between sex and sexuality, tips on what turns each other on, as well as some fun sex games. You’ll also learn some tips on how to handle physical intimacy when, due to health situations, sexual intercourse isn’t possible.

Let’s Get Started On Lesson 25

In this last module of How To Keep The Spark Alive, you’ll focus on what many believe is meant by “fire” in relationships – your sexual relationship. Just as in any area of life, sexual desire varies greatly from person to person.

Why Talking About Sex Can Be Difficult

Talking about sex in many families is difficult. Recall how you learned about the “birds and the bees”. If your family was comfortable with sex and sexual information, you’ll probably be comfortable also.

If you had to search for information, you may be reluctant asking your partner questions and sharing what you’re thinking and feeling about your sexual relationship.

Your sexuality and your sexual relationship are some of the most intimate and sacred aspects of yourself. Sharing this with your partner, both through honest discussion and through action, is a symbol of your love, respect, and commitment to each other.

Let’s look at some reasons why discussing sex may be difficult:

1. You may be embarrassed due to family training, religious reasons, or because you’re shy.
   • Consider that your “sex talk” is a gift you give to yourself and your partner. You do this from self-love and love of your partner.
   • The more often you share with your partner, and your partner shares with you, the easier it becomes.
2. You may feel shame from past sexual experiences This can range from sexual activity to sexual abuse.
   • Share with a trusted friend or objective party first. This will help you become at ease with sharing.
   • Your sharing isn’t just about sexual intimacy. It’s also about emotional intimacy. The more honest you can be in your relationship, the closer you’ll become.
3. If you came from a strict religious background, you may feel it improper to talk about sex.
   • If you’re in a sexual relationship and aren’t married, you may have some spiritual issues to work through. This is an uncomfortable place to be. Praying, journalling, and talking to a trusted spiritual leader may assist you.
4. Fear of your partner’s reaction. When you’re embarrassed or ashamed, it’s normal to be afraid of someone’s reaction.
   • Consider your partner. Are they trustworthy, reliable, and respectful? If so, take the risk to share. If your partner is who you think they are, your fear will dissolve as you share.

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