How To Keep The Spark Alive – Lesson 4.5 – Nurture Your Relationship

Welcome to Lesson #23 of the How To Keep The Spark Alive course!

After the lessons on children, money, friendships, and personal space, you may wonder what more about needs can you learn about. Every lesson has been about needs and the importance of talking about them with your partner.

This lesson isn’t about the most obvious needs. It’s about the needs you discover as you enjoy your relationship and personal growth and development.

Life Involves Growth

People have the mistaken idea that developmental growth ends in the 20s. It doesn’t. Your brain continues growing and developing, resulting in changes in the way you view the world.

Relationships are a major source of growth. As the two of you navigate the joys as well as challenges of life, you learn about yourself personally and about your partner. Going back to the Johari Window, the box about what you know about yourself and what others know grows.

A Happy Relationship Supports You

When you relate to each other with honesty and respect, you grow closer. You are also happier with yourself. Your partner’s support gives you the opportunity to be comfortable with yourself. Your support of your partner does the same for your beloved.

Look at these wonderful areas in which you’ll grow:

1. You learn to trust yourself and be comfortable with who you are. When the one you love is continually supporting you, self-doubt diminishes.
   • Self-doubt can overwhelm you unless you have someone you trust supporting you. Your partner will tell you when your self-doubt is not based upon reality.
   • With love and support, you trust yourself more and more.
2. You challenge each other to be a better person. Your good habits will call each other to be your best self.
   • Habits are ingrained in your brain. You “do” those habits without thinking. Because of your love for one another, your good habits challenge each other to be the best you.
3. You learn to be dependable. Because you each depend upon each other, you strengthen your ability to be dependable.
   • Because of your love for each other, you want to please your beloved. You learn what it’s like to be depended upon and the positive feeling of being dependable.
4. You learn more about yourself. You discover talents you didn’t know you had.
   • Your partner supports you in your discovery. With their support, you’ll have the strength and courage to explore new areas.

You Each Are Changing

Healthy people grow and change. Their understanding of themselves, the world, and their relationships change as they themselves gain a deeper understanding and knowledge of themselves. This means you are both growing.

It’s possible for you and your partner to grow in different directions. This isn’t a reason for concern as long as your relationship is based upon trust, honesty, and consistent and respectful communication.

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