How To Keep The Spark Alive – Lesson 1.3 – Help, It’s Already Difficult

Welcome to Lesson #3 of the How To Keep The Spark Alive course!

In the last lesson, you learned some tips on how to keep the passion in your relationship. Remember to establish the greeting and “leave-taking” rituals. You’ll be surprised at how much you look forward to them.

What happens, though, when you haven’t lived with each other long and things are already difficult? Before you doubt yourself and your decision, read about common difficulties when a couple first moves in with each other.

Yes, You Will Have Challenges

Think about the irritating things your parents or siblings did when you were living with them. Weren’t there times you thought you’d go crazy and couldn’t wait until you were living on your own? We’ve all been there.

You may not have known it, but once you move in with somebody you love, expect similar challenges. The two of you are independent people who’ll now need to make some adjustments. How good are you at adapting? Both of you will discover that answer!

Planning Makes It Easier

If you haven’t joined households, this is the perfect time to agree on how your household will run. If you haven’t had that conversation yet, now is an excellent time to sit down together and divide up the duties.

It’s important to realize each of you have moved in together with certain expectations. The surprise comes when you realize that your expectations may be totally opposite to those of your partner.

There are tasks that absolutely have to be done, so decide now how those duties will be divided:

1. Money and bills. Previously, you each paid for everything. How will you handle your finances?
   • Will you have one checking account or three? One checking account means both paychecks go in the same account and bills are paid from that account.
   • With three accounts, you each have your own money and you each deposit an agreed amount into the “house” account from which bills are paid.
2. Who pays for what? You only watch Netflix and Amazon Prime. Your partner wants the highest end cable package. You belong to a gym and your partner prefers to walk in the park.
   • If all your money is in one account, you’ve agreed to pay for each other’s bills no matter what they are.
   • Each of you list your bills. Decide who’ll pay for what. Some non-mutual expenses may balance each other out. You may decide it’s okay if you pay half of something you don’t use.
3. Don’t let chores cause resentment! There are always things you don’t like doing but must be done for the house to run smoothly. Divide up those chores now.
   • The last thing you want is a break-up because the toilet bowl isn’t clean. Sharing chores is a sign of mutual respect.
   • Make a list of all the chores that need to be done. Claim the ones you want. Negotiate on the rest. Alternate tasks monthly unless someone really likes one specific chore.

Time And Space

Sorry - The Rest Of This Article Is Only For Self Help Nirvana Members

JOIN FREE FOR 7 DAYS

Self Help Nirvana is an online community for everybody whose goal is personal improvement and development. Become a Self Help Nirvana member today and get access to everything here at SelfHelpNirvana.com!

Already a member? Sign in.