Introspection And The Power Of Becoming Self-Aware – Lesson 9 – 20 Tips For Your Self-Reflection And Self-Awareness Journey

Introduction

Welcome to Lesson 9 in my Introspection And The Power Of Becoming Self-Aware course!

Self-awareness and self-reflection are skills that anybody can learn, provided they are prepared to adopt the right habits and exercises.

Are there parts of your personality that you don’t understand?

Are their decisions in your past that were so bad in hindsight you cannot fathom why you made them?

Are their aspects of your life that you cannot get to grips with?

Maybe there is a tendency or behaviour that constantly pops up and always results in a negative outcome?

Self-awareness is one of the most essential skills a human can possess, yet it’s one of the most difficult to achieve.

Let’s talk about the do’s and the don’ts of self-awareness.

10 Do’s Of Self-Reflection And Self-Awareness

Attention

The things that irritate you most in others are very likely to be the qualities you yourself possess – it’s like looking in the mirror and it’s maddening.

Look, everybody possesses qualities and aspects of themselves that they aren’t particularly proud of. For example, we all have the tendency to bend the truth if we need to, we avoid conflicts like our lives depend on it, and we often allow ourselves to be a doormat for others.

When we see traits like this in others, it’s infuriating because we know we also possess these same qualities.

But guess what? You can change it!

First of all, you can deal with how annoyed you get about these traits in others.

Secondly, you can start asking yourself whether something or somebody annoys you so much because it’s a direct reflection of something you dislike about yourself. From there, you can work on it.

Clarity Of Values

Your values guide you, or, at least, they should. Take time to clarify yours if you want to properly grow your self-awareness and improve your ability to self-reflect.

Cognitive Distortion

A cognitive distortion is an inaccurate belief or thought we have that distorts how we see the world (and ourselves).

Just like we have bad physical habits, we also have negative mental habits. Your immediate reaction to being cut off on the freeway is likely “jerk“.

Unfortunately, that has resulted in you calling all drivers a jerk, even when it’s your fault. You have grown accustomed to externalizing and blaming others, thus missing the chance to own your behaviour and correct it.

Is the person who cut you off a jerk?

Maybe – or maybe you were driving too slowly because you were fiddling with the radio.

A lack of self-awareness is also accompanied by negative self-talk and mental habits. If you identify these issues then your self-awareness will grow.

You’ll find a long list of cognitive distortions here.

Emotional Kryptonite

As in, self-reflection and self-awareness will help you identify yours.

Nobody wants or likes the pain that comes with negative emotions, so it’s natural that we recoil from those negative emotions, but there is often one particular emotion that we attempt to avoid like the plague.

It’s usually a negative emotion like sadness, and we go to great lengths to kill that emotion, or at least numb it.

The problem is that many of the ways we numb that emotion lead to more negative emotions (like anxiety, guilt, or shame).

For example, Holly avoids social situations most of the time because she’s constantly worried that others are judging her. She’s worried that people think she drinks too much and judge her because of that.

Through self-reflection, Holly discovers her self-awareness. She does drink too much and that gives her anxiety and shame, which manifests itself in her worry about what others think of her in a social situation. And, ironically, she feels sad so she drinks in response to that.

Feedback

Don’t be afraid to seek feedback, and when you do, learn to take it with grace, because you can deal with the reality of the feedback later.

The more you self-reflect and the more aware you become, the better you will become at identifying authentic feedback and the feedback that comes from somebody who has a bone to pick with you. That’s an important quality to possess.

Learn New Skills

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