How To Deepen Intimacy In Your Relationship – Lesson 6 – Intellectual Intimacy

Welcome to Lesson #6 of my “How to Deepen Intimacy In Your Relationship” course!

While emotional intimacy is grown by communicating feelings and needs, intellectual intimacy is grown by discussing opinions.

Intellectual intimacy is getting to know how your partner’s mind works. It’s hearing your partner’s ideas, thoughts, and opinions. You grow intellectual intimacy by discussing in-depth topics like society, politics, or lifestyle choices.

You understand what beliefs and values guide your partner’s decision-making.

You don’t have to agree on everything intellectually. But there does need to be a level of mutual respect. Even if you disagree with your partner, you accept their opinion and respect them for it.

Here are a few tips to build intellectual intimacy:

1. Listen to understand. Understand where your partner’s opinions come from. Think about how the way they were raised, or their experiences, might shape their beliefs. Let go of any need to be right.
2. Discuss something you’ve read recently. Talk about your take-aways from the reading and ask your partner what they think. Explore different ideas together.
3. If you disagree with your partner, do so respectfully. Entertain opinions and consider ideas.
4. Discuss lifestyle choices with your partner. This can also be spiritual intimacy.
   • What are your life goals?
   • Do you want to raise children?
   • How do you feel about marriage?
   • What is your life purpose?
5. Accept. Accept your partner, their beliefs, and their opinions.

Remember that intimacy is built on acceptance. It’s okay to disagree with your partner – you have to be willing to accept each person as they are.

Following the steps above will help you build intellectual intimacy and mutual respect.

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