My Preferred Version Of The Golden Rule
I’ve touched briefly on the Golden Rule elsewhere, but in this article, I want to discuss it in more detail.
For those who are not aware of it, it comes in many flavours, but at its core, the rule is to do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
And while there are those who believe that their particular religion is the source of this rule (which is sometimes known as the Ethic of Reciprocity), the truth is that versions of it appear in many religions and philosophies, including Bahá’í, Brahmanism, Buddhism, Christianity, Confucianism, Hinduism, Islam, Jainism, Judaism, Native American spiritualism, Satanism (as in The Satanic Temple, which does not worship Satan, as some people erroneously believe), Shinto, Sikhism, Sufism, Taoism. Wicca, Yoruba, and Zoroastrianism.
It’s short and it’s easy to understand, at one level at least, but there is a potential problem with it – it can be interpreted (and sometimes is) as though individual differences do not matter.
It sort of depends on how literally you read the rule.
Personally, I have tended to take many things literally, but because I’m also the sort of person who likes to look for exceptions, I don’t typically fall into that trap.
So, what this objection is saying is that just because you want to be treated in a certain way does not mean others do.
It’s the difference between saying to yourself, “Would I like it if I were treated that way?” and “Would I like it if I were that person and were treated that way?”
It may seem like semantics, and in a way it is – but it’s also an important point, I feel.
That’s why some people prefer what they call the Platinum Rule – treat others the way they wish to be treated.
To me, that is a better way of approaching it, because it requires you to step outside yourself and your wants and needs, and to put yourself in somebody else’s shoes (i.e. use empathy).
As you might be starting to see, trying to come up with a succinct set of words that is unambiguous and precise is not easy – even the Platinum Rule isn’t perfect, not least because you may not know them that well.
In fact, even if you have lived with somebody else for decades, it still doesn’t necessarily mean that you know them that well. (After 20+ years of marriage, my first wife was still unable to finish my sentences correctly.)
Maybe calling this a “rule” is the problem – perhaps you cannot be too prescriptive with this sort of thing, or even human behaviour in general.
And that brings me to my favourite version of this “rule”, which is simple, non-prescriptive, flexible, and allows for the fact that interpretation will always be subjective – and some may find it somewhat rude (but these are just words):
I like this because:
- It requires that you be empathetic, thinking about the other person and their needs, not yours.
- It can lead to acts of kindness.
- It’s a great reminder to do the right thing, regardless of who you are or what badge / uniform you might wear, which is not always the legal thing. (Remember, slavery was legal, but most people today, and maybe even back when it was legal if they were being truly honest with themselves, know that it’s immoral, because nobody should have the right to own another human being as property.)
And finally, while I’m on my soapbox, humans are not born hating anybody – hate is a learned behaviour, which means other humans (often our parents) are teaching young children to hate others.
So you need to ask yourself:
- Why? Why should anybody hate anybody else based on general characteristics (e.g. skin colour, eye colour, height, country of birth), when you don’t know anything about them?
- Are you going to be the one who breaks the cycle of hate, or do you want to perpetuate it, without necessarily even knowing why?
In summary then, try to be kind and nice to others (including humans and other animals), and, once again, don’t be a dick!
