69 Ways You Can Be Kind, And Why Kindness Is A Valuable Behaviour

Being kind is defined as “having or showing a friendly, generous, sympathetic, or warm-hearted nature.”

And although it may not seem like it these days, it is a core human trait, because it had evolutionary benefits. Humans are social animals at heart, and in our early history, when we lived in communities of around 150 – 200 people, everybody knew everybody else, and they cared for and showed kindness to each other, because that directly affected the well-being of the community.

These days, when we live in huge cities, and life has become more of a personal or family struggle and the sense of community is ebbing away, kindness is almost seen as weakness by some.

And yet being kind has benefits – both for the giver and the recipient.

Benefits Of Kindness

1. It improves our own mood and sense of well-being.
2. Being kind makes us happier, and the converse is true too – if you want to feel happy, be kind.
3. If is good for our physical health (because it releases endorphins, the body’s natural pain-killers) and mental health (e.g. helping to decrease stress and reducing feelings of depression).
4. One study found that acts of kindness can boost our immune system.
5. It helps build and strengthen relationships.
6. It’s contagious – one small act of kindness can create a ripple effect, benefitting far more people than the individual you affected.

Ideas On How To Be Kinder

So, what can you to cultivate kindness, and improve not only your own life, but that of others (including animals, of course)?

Here are dozens of ideas for you.

Some are general – i.e. they’re more like overarching principles – and some are specific.

And some of these are about being kind to others, and some are about being kind to yourself – something that we often forget.

1. Acknowledge the help of others. If you have your own website (or a page on social media), then make a habit of writing posts that publicly thank those people who have helped or inspired you. If you can, include a link to their own site too.
2. Active Listening. Really listening to what other people are saying, and not using that time to formulate what you want to say next, is a great way to be kind to people and show that you are interested in them.
3. Babysitting. You probably know a couple with one or more young children who rarely have the chance to go out together for a date night, for example, so why not offer to look after their kids for the evening?
4. Be a considerate driver. It seems everybody is in a rush these days, so if you see somebody who appears to be hurrying somewhere, let them into traffic. Alternatively, allow pedestrians to cross the road, even if there are no lights nearby.
5. Become a foster parent. This is obviously a biggie, and not something everybody can do, but it goes without saying that it can make a huge difference to somebody’s life. And if fostering a human seems like too much, don’t forget you can foster animals, such as cats and dogs, too.
6. Buy somebody snacks. It may be a stereotype, but you could buy a box of doughnuts for your local police or fire station, or maybe a local sports team.
7. Compliments. Always try to find something positive (and true – you don’t want it to be idle flattery) to say about somebody else – and make sure you tell them.
8. Cook somebody a meal. If you know a family who is struggling financially, and maybe living of Ramen noodles, say, why not cook them a nice meal and take it round for them one day?
9. Discard negative people. Your primary concern should be your own well-being, because as the saying goes, you cannot pour from an empty cup. So, if you have somebody in your life that constantly brings you down (either in real life or on social media), then let them go – you really don’t need their negative energy draining you.
10. Discuss acts of kindness. For those who still dine as a family, you can all talk about what acts of kindness they each did that day.
11. Do errands for somebody. If somebody finds it difficult to get out (e.g. because they are infirm or don’t have access to transport), you can offer to do their errands (e.g. shopping, collecting dry cleaning) for them.
12. Do something nice, even for people who don’t deserve it. This is part of being the bigger person, but doing some nice (e.g. complimenting them) even when you don’t like them or they did something that wasn’t nice to you can make a lot of difference – many people are that way because of the struggles they are facing, so an unexpected act of kindness can help change their perceptions.
13. Don’t be a perfectionist. Striving for perfection is, in most cases, a wild goose chase because it’s unachievable. If you don’t accept this, you’ll end up frustrated, angry, and waste time and energy in this fruitless pursuit.
14. Donate blood. This is, for most people, relatively easy to do and you know it’s going to benefit somebody in need, even though you won’t know who.
15. Donate to your library. Don’t throw old books out, but take them to your local library (or school library if the books are appropriate) and see if they want them.
16. Empathize. Being able to put yourself in somebody else’s shoes means you will treat them more kindly, because everybody is different and everybody is fighting their own struggles. I didn’t use to think I was empathetic at all, but it turns out that it’s something that can be learned.
17. Enthusiastically Greet people. Whenever you greet somebody and say “hello”, do it enthusiastically, like you really mean it – whether it’s face to face or on the telephone.
18. Forgive debts. These may be financial debts or other things people owe you. Obviously, in the case of financial debts, only forgive what you can afford, and, when you tell the person who owes you something, remember to say the only condition is that they too pay something forward for somebody else.
19. Forgiveness. Remember that forgiving somebody is not about them, it’s about you. It’s about acceptance and letting go of grudges and moving forward – it’s not about condoning the other person’s behaviour. Why hold on to feelings that only harm you, and not the person who did something wrong?
20. Forgo your seat. This used to be done almost automatically, but if you’re sitting and you see somebody standing who needs your seat more than you do (e.g. because they’re pregnant, ill, old, tired), give up your seat for them.
21. Free hugs. You obviously need to be careful with this one, but done well, it can be both fun (for you and the huggees) and helpful (e.g. if somebody is feeling down or lonely).

22. Give praise. When you see somebody at work do a good job (however small it may be), praise and thank them for it, and, if possible, ensure other co-workers are around to hear it too.
23. Give talks. Many people have subjects they can talk about (e.g. things they know a lot about, travels they’ve been on, life lessons they’ve learned), and there are always organizations looking for speakers (e.g. Women’s Institute, in the UK). So, put together a short, entertaining talk about something, and then offer your services to such organizations and clubs.
24. Go green. Becoming more eco-aware is being kind to the entire planet and all of its lifeforms. So, try to use less plastic, less energy, don’t be wasteful, recycle where appropriate, etc.
25. Greet strangers. Saying good morning (or whatever is appropriate for the time of day) to people you pass in the street or ride the train with can help cheer somebody up and make them feel less invisible.
26. Hand out lottery tickets. Why not buy a small batch of lottery tickets and hand them out to strangers, with a message like, “I hope you win something”?
27. Help out your neighbours. If you’re doing a household chore (e.g. mowing your lawn, blowing the snow away), then why not offer to do the same for your neighbour while you have the necessary equipment out?
28. Help somebody learn. There are many things we all know that others do not, so share your knowledge. This might include helping an adult learn to read, or tutoring a child in a subject they struggle with.
29. Honesty. There are probably very few people, if any, who have not told a “white lie” at some point, but the reality is, it’s still a lie. Sometimes we do this because we want to protect people from the truth – even though in some cases they do not need or want that. Being honest is, in my view, kinder in the long run, and personally, I intensely dislike it when other people decide what I am and am not capable of hearing.
30. Inform somebody’s manager of good service. In addition to thanking the person who has served you, you can also let their manager know (either face to face or in writing) that they did an especially good job.
31. Invite somebody for dinner. This might be a new neighbour, somebody you met on vacation, a new co-worker, or maybe your child’s boyfriend or girlfriend, and it needn’t be a formal sit-down dinner either – it could be a backyard BBQ, or a picnic somewhere.
32. Judge less. Being judgemental seems to be part of human nature, but our judgements often prove to be wrong anyway, often because we don’t have enough information. I know I’ve judged people in the past, only to be proven wrong. When you don’t negatively judge another person based on superficialities such as their clothes or hairstyle, you will be more accepting and treat them more kindly.
33. Just because presents. This is something I used to do all the time – buy somebody a gift, for no reason other than the fact I saw something I thought they’d like. These items were usually inexpensive and small, but the fact they were unexpected is what made them special.
34. Keep your promises. We should all do this, of course, but when you do what you say you will do, it encourages trust, and demonstrates that you respect other people.
35. Leave a random gift. The idea here is that you leave a small something (e.g. a DVD, book, or even a small amount of money) somewhere in public (e.g. at the coffee shop, on a bus seat, in the library, at the mall) for some random stranger to find. This could also be a newspaper or magazine you’ve finished reading that you leave in a coffee shop. Remember, if you can, to leave a note explaining why you’ve left the item there, and ask that the recipient pay it forward too.
36. Let go of limiting beliefs. A lot of our beliefs were programmed into us when we were very young, but beliefs are not always actually true. However, we grow up and live our lives as though they are – until we look at them critically and decide whether we should let them go or not. Until we question those beliefs, there is a good chance at least some of them are holding you back.
37. Let somebody go in front of you. If the person behind you in the queue at the supermarket has far fewer items than you do, make their day by letting them go first.
38. Make amends. Almost all of us have treated somebody else badly at some stage in our past, so why not make amends with them – regardless of how large or small the issue was, or how long ago it took place.
39. Offer to carry somebody’s bags. If you see somebody struggling with their shopping bags, say, offer to carry their bags for them.
40. Pamper your partner. Life isn’t easy, and we could all do with some relaxation once in a while, so offer to give your partner a back rub or foot massage. Remember, this is a gift from you to them, so there should be no expectation of a quid pro quo here. (A surprise spa day would be a great gift too!)
41. Pay for the next person’s coffee or meal. This sort of pay-it-forward is even more effective if you can pass on a message to the recipient like “Have a great day” or “Please keep this going”.
42. Pick up litter. While part of me objects to fixing problems caused by others, if everybody just picked up an item or two of litter each day and put it in a trash can, society as a whole would benefit.
43. Read to somebody. While audio books are a great resource these days, taking the time to read a book to somebody who is unable to read for themselves is a great way to show somebody that they are cared for – and they get to discuss it with you if they want to.
44. Recognize your achievements. You are where you are today because of a whole lot of decisions and choices you have made, together with many events that were out of your control. While you may have made some poor choices in the past (because we all do), you have also made many good ones and achieved a lot, so take pleasure in that and give yourself the credit you deserve.
45. Research information for somebody. If you know somebody who is interested or passionate about a subject, you can do some research and collate information to send to them.
46. Rescue a pet. If you are looking to adopt a pet, look in your local animal rescue or shelter first. They are often pets who have been abandoned, either deliberately or accidentally (e.g. their previous owner died), and are in need of some TLC. Don’t always go for the puppies and younger dogs – older pets need homes too, and are often overlooked. Remember, just because an animal is “pedigree” does not mean they will love you any more (or less) – and millions of animals are euthanized every year because nobody wants them.
47. Review books. If you’ve read a book you’ve particularly enjoyed, leave a positive (but honest) review of it (e.g. on Amazon). Other people will find this helpful, and the author will appreciate it too.
48. Say please and thank you. Another common courtesy that is less common than it used to be, but these two short phrases show respect and appreciation.
49. Send thank you notes. This too used to be the done thing, and it’s time to reinstate this habit. You don’t need to write a long letter – a simple “thank you”, preferably hand-written, can make somebody’s day (and help you feel grateful).
50. Share what you love. When you are enjoying something (e.g. a piece of cake, ice cream), share it with others.
51. Show your gratitude. Gratitude journals are a big thing these days, but don’t keep your gratitude to yourself – tell somebody that you are thankful for what they have done or said.
52. Smile. Smiling can be contagious, and it usually puts people in a better mood. (Be prepared though – I used to work with a guy who smiled at pretty much everybody, and a few people asked what the hell was wrong with him. It didn’t stop him smiling though – and nor should it.)
53. Start a community campaign. Most people can find something their community needs, whether that’s something that doesn’t yet exist or something that needs repairing or improving, so you could organize a campaign to help organize that work. This might involve raising funds, or finding people who are willing to donate their time and/or skills, or both.
54. Start the day by doing something nice for somebody. It doesn’t need to be anything huge – a phone call to a friend to see how they are, doing a job your partner would usually do, spending five minutes picking up litter outside your home.
55. Stop complaining. When you stop complaining, you feel more grateful, more optimistic, more hopeful, more positive – and more happy.
56. Support a local charity. This could including volunteering your time, but it may also include donating items you no longer need (e.g. clothes, furniture, toys), and if you don’t have any such items yourself (although I’d be surprised if you don’t), you could organize an event where others can bring in their unwanted items.
57. Support those who have been wronged. This could be somebody you know, maybe because they were unfairly treated at work, or it could be supporting a campaign (e.g. by signing a petition and/or donating money) to somebody you don’t know but who is in need of help (e.g. wrongful arrests, excessive fines, deportation orders).
58. Supportive comments. If you read a blog post you found helpful or interesting, leave a comment (if this option is available) to tell the author so. (Alternatively, you can contact them via their site in most cases and tell them that way.)
59. Surprise trip. You could take a small group of children (that you know – looking after a bunch of strangers is a whole other deal) for a day out somewhere (e.g. the beach, a museum).
60. Take care of yourself. This includes both physically (e.g. eating healthily, getting enough sleep, exercising, personal hygiene and grooming) as well as mentally (e.g. accepting that sometimes you may feel sad, and that’s OK, or not blaming yourself for something that was out of your control).
61. Talk to the lonely people at social events. While it’s true they may be sitting by themselves because they don’t feel like participating (e.g. perhaps they’re depressed or suffer social anxiety), go up to them and try to engage them in a one-on-one conversation. Ask them questions, listen to what they say, and then ask appropriate follow-up questions. And if they decline your offer, be polite and leave them alone, of course.
62. Thank people who work in the service industry. It’s easy to overlook those who serve us, almost invisibly in some cases, so take the time to say thank you to them (e.g. postal delivery workers, ambulance workers).
63. Throw a surprise party. This can be a great way to show somebody how appreciated or loved they are. However, there’s a big caveat here: only do this if you know, for certain, that it is indeed something the person will be OK with. There are many people, myself included, who would hate this, maybe because surprises freak them out, or maybe because large groups of people, or the loud noise that often accompanies such situations, makes them uncomfortable.
64. Tone down your self-talk. We all have that inner voice yapping away inside our head 24 x 7, but the words we use in these internal conversations can have a powerful effect. So, choose your words carefully, and try to avoid harsh, negative, critical words and replace them with gentler, kinder, encouraging ones.
65. Treat a friend. Why not take a friend out for dinner and then maybe a movie or bowling – just because?
66. Treat yourself like a friend. Many people treat their friends a lot better than they treat themselves. If you wouldn’t do or say something to one of your friends, why are you treating yourself any differently?
67. Visit people who are lonely. Many people, typically (but not always) those who are eldery, are lonely (e.g. after their partner dies), so spend time with them, talk to them, and maybe even take them out for the afternoon. This includes visiting and talking to people in hospital who never receive visitors.
68. Write an encouraging note to somebody. If you know somebody who is having a tough time right now, send them a hand-written letter or note, letting them know you are thinking about them. (Yes, you can send an email or text message, but going old-school on this one is far more effective.)
69. And lastly, be real. Being your real self at all times is being kind to everybody you know and meet, because they will never need to question your motives or what you really mean or which version of you they’re talking to. This may be the hardest of them all too – we are brought up to have different personas, depending on the situation. Many of us, for example, are not the same person in the office as we are at home. But being the real you (once you work out who that is, of course), is empowering for you too.

Conclusion

Being kind isn’t actually that difficult – you need to think about how somebody else feels and then ask yourself what you can do to make that person a little happier or their life a little easier.

Additional Resources

These are suggestions for those who wish to delve deeper into any of the above:

1. Active Listening Course
2. Adopt A Pet
3. Complaint-Free Challenge