Thought Mastery Via Increased Emotional Intelligence

“You will never have a greater or lesser dominion than that over yourself…the height of a man’s success is gauged by his self-mastery; the depth of his failure by his self-abandonment. …And this law is the expression of eternal justice. He who cannot establish dominion over himself will have no dominion over others.” (Leonardo da Vinci)

Introduction

According to Wikipedia, emotional intelligence is “the capability of individuals to recognize their own emotions and those of others, discern between different feelings and label them appropriately, use emotional information to guide thinking and behaviour, and manage and/or adjust emotions to adapt to environments or achieve one’s goals.”

You probably know someone that is highly intelligent from an intellectual standpoint but struggles with life. It might even be you. 🙂

Seriously, I think this applies to me, although I would like to think I’ve got better over the years.

This is often a person with low emotional intelligence – just because you’re smart does not mean you can make your way through the world successfully.

Those with high levels of emotional intelligence also have control over their thoughts and emotions, because the two go hand-in-hand.

This makes it obvious why emotionally intelligent people are usually quite successful – they get along well with others and have mastery over themselves.

By boosting the right components of emotional intelligence, you too can gain mastery over your thoughts and emotions.

Consider these topics as a way to learn more about yourself and your options for enhancing your mastery over your thoughts and emotions:

1. What Having High Emotional Intelligence Can Do For You. There are numerous advantages you’ll enjoy from increasing your emotional intelligence. Find out how important emotional intelligence is to success and fulfillment.
2. The 5 Components Of Emotional Intelligence. Most experts agree there are five primary pieces to the emotional intelligence puzzle. See which of these matter if you want to master your thoughts and emotions.
3. How To Master Self-Awareness. You’re not nearly as self-aware as you think. Find out what makes you tick by learning how to pay attention. You might be shocked by what you discover.
4. Self-Regulation. How much control do you have over your thoughts, emotions, and actions? Learn how you can develop more.
5. Become A Master Of Focus. Ability to focus is an important skill. If you can’t focus, you’ll struggle to get anything done. The most successful people have a highly developed ability to focus their attention for an extended period of time.
6. Motivation. Are you motivated intrinsically or extrinsically, and why does it matter? You’ll discover the differences and the relevance.

“We should every night call ourselves to an account. What infirmity have I mastered today? What passions opposed? What temptation resisted? What virtue acquired? Our vices will abort of themselves if they be brought every day to the shrift.” (Lucius Annaeus Seneca)

What Having High Emotional Intelligence Can Do For You

You might think that emotional intelligence is fine for those in the arts and humanities, but emotional intelligence is necessary for success in all fields.

Emotional intelligence provides many benefits, such as:

1. Increases your social effectiveness. When you understand your emotions and the emotions of others, you can connect and communicate more effectively. It can be a great advantage in personal relationships.
2. Enhances your ability to lead others. When you understand motivation, emotional state management, and can empathize with others, you become a more effective leader.
3. It boosts the likelihood of success. When you can control your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours, you can do anything.
4. It reduces bad habits and self-destructive behaviours. Whether it’s overeating, using alcohol or drugs, or wasting a day watching TV, emotional intelligence makes it easier to avoid these behaviours.
5. You develop mastery over yourself. This is the primary focus of this guide. For some people, this is the whole point of living – to learn how to master yourself. How many times do you know the best course of action, but you do something else instead? Gaining emotional intelligence can be the answer.

Emotional intelligence provides a lot of advantages.

It’s easy to pick out those who are high in emotional intelligence – and it’s also easy to pick out those who are lacking in this important characteristic.

Emotional intelligence might not be the most exciting thing to develop, but, it might be the most important.

Even if you didn’t do well in school, you can still be incredibly successful if you possess a high degree of emotional intelligence.

“Many of the confusions, conflicts, and disarrays that are rampant in today’s organizations, communities, and nations could have been avoided if leaders have solid self-awareness…” (Assegid Habtewold)

The 5 Components Of Emotional Intelligence

Author Daniel Goleman is largely given credit for the idea of emotional intelligence and the description of the five primary components.

Bear in mind that it’s rare for someone to rate highly in all five without training and effort.

Consider these five components:

1. Self-awareness. This is possibly the most important component of emotional intelligence. Having self-awareness means that you have a clear and accurate opinion of yourself. You also have a good handle on how others perceive you.

   If you have a high level of self-awareness, you’re able to notice your emotions and think about them rationally in the moment.

   But if you’re lacking in self-awareness, your emotions take over – you’re only able to recognize your emotional state afterwards.

   You’re able to learn from your emotional experiences, so you don’t have to repeat the past.

   You’re aware of your strengths and weaknesses.

2. Self-regulation. It’s great to be able to notice your emotions in the moment, but can you make a wise decision about how to proceed from that point? Are you able to redirect your emotions into a healthy positive direction?

   Can you control your impulses?

   Are you able to take responsibility for your actions?

   Do you respond in a reasonable manner when others are acting unreasonably?

   Can you take a moment before you act or speak and make a mature, intelligent choice?

   Do you know how to manage your negative moods and thought patterns?

   Are you open to change and new ideas?

3. Motivation. Do you have motivation that extends beyond money and acquiring possessions? Are you able to motivate yourself internally or do you require external motivation?

   Are you able to set goals and follow through to completion? Can you persist when things aren’t going your way?

   Can you take the initiative to do something, or are you only motivated by discomfort, such as deadlines, the threat of losing your job, or other pain?

4. Empathy. Are you able to understand the emotions of others? Understanding yourself is the first step to understanding others, because people are very similar in their basic emotional makeup.

   Do you take an interest in the lives of others? Are you able to help someone cope with emotional challenges they might be facing?

   Do you know how to comfort someone else?

5. Social skills. The range of social skills needed can be vast, but these are things you’ve been learning since you were just a baby.

   Can you accurately interpret facial expressions?

   Can you anticipate the likely emotional reactions from others for the given situation?

   Can you communicate effectively? Are you a good listener?

   Are you able to influence others?

   Can you create and sustain relationships?

How well do you rate in each area?

You probably found one or more areas that could use a little work – and that’s okay.

Few people rate highly in all of these areas.

We’re going to ignore empathy and social skills for the purposes of this guide because the other three components are more pertinent for mastering your thoughts and emotions.

“A strong human spirit with control over appetites of the flesh is master over emotions and passions and not a slave to them. That kind of freedom is as vital to the spirit as oxygen is to the body! Freedom from self-slavery is true liberation!” (Russell M. Nelson)

How To Master Self-Awareness

Emotions are part of the human experience, and they serve a valuable purpose.

For example, negative emotions can help to keep you alive, while positive emotions can encourage you to repeat positive behaviours.

However, the process isn’t foolproof – your emotions can also harm you if you give in to them:

• You might feel highly driven to eat a candy bar, though you know you shouldn’t.
• You might feel an overwhelming urge to tell your boss exactly what you think, only to find yourself unemployed.

Our emotions aren’t always accurate guides for making decisions or choosing behaviours.

So getting a handle on your emotions is critical!

But the first step is to become self-aware.

Most people just react with their emotions, but it’s imperative to be able to analyze and understand them, because in the process, you begin to understand yourself.

When you understand your own emotions and tendencies, you gain a better understanding of others, too.

“Engaging in meditative self-reflection and gaining increased control of inner experiences provides a person with a sense of control over fear and trembling and the chaos of life.” (Kilroy J. Oldster)

Know Your Values

Sorry - The Rest Of This Article Is Only For Self Help Nirvana Members

JOIN FREE FOR 7 DAYS

Self Help Nirvana is an online community for everybody whose goal is personal improvement and development. Become a Self Help Nirvana member today and get access to everything here at SelfHelpNirvana.com!

Already a member? Sign in.