6 Simple Habits For Optimal Social Health

Your social health is all about:

1. Your relationships
2. How you interact with others
3. How well your social network acts as a support system for your life

Your social connections help you during challenging times and enhance your emotional, mental, and even physical self – especially since there are extensive lockdowns and social distancing policies in effect at the time I am writing this.

In fact, it’s not a stretch to say that having strong, healthy relationships that are supportive and nurturing is crucial to living a full, happy life – which means you must learn to foster these connections.

There are many reasons why your social connections are essential, including:

• When you have strong bonds with others, you feel more confident about yourself.
• Your friends and acquaintances support and encourage your interests and passions.
• Romantic connections help you feel loved and experience intimacy with somebody else.
• Connecting with others teaches you important life skills like communication, compromise, conflict resolution, cooperation, and trust.

As with other aspects of your well-being, you should have daily habits that nurture your social health – which is exactly what this article is about.

Be The Friend You Are Looking For

If you are trying to make new connections with people or form a friendship with somebody new, it is vital to act in ways that you value and expect to be treated.

Showing others your values and beliefs can help them know you better, and behaving in positive ways demonstrates how you will treat them in the future, which can build trust.

The best way to do this is to show genuine interest in your new friend and ask them questions to learn about their hobbies, goals, and passions (without being too invasive too soon).

Equally important is not falling into the trap of talking about yourself all the time – remember, a conversation is a two-way affair, not a monologue.

By demonstrating how you expect to be treated, the other person will know your expectations and get to know what is important to you – and vice versa, of course.

Cultivate The Relationships You Already Have

If you want to feel more connected to people you already know, then you must put in the work to maintain and grow those relationships.

Connections with other people are just like living organisms – they must be fed and nurtured if you want them to thrive.

That means they need attention, feeding, and love – so you should be doing something every day to show somebody in your life that you care about them and value your connection.

For those friendships and bonds that are important but may be distant or not as regular, it is still essential to check-in and to show the other person you still value them in your life.

Some ideas for daily habits include:

• Be timely in your responses to other’s messages and phone calls.
• Call or text somebody different every day to say “hi” or tell them you are thinking about them.
• Express your love for others whenever you have the opportunity, and be sure you share how grateful you are to have them in your life.
• Make sure you respond to invitations as promptly as possible so that people know you are excited to come or unfortunately can’t make it.
• Make time at least once a week to have longer conversations with important people in your life, such as your parents, your best friend, your siblings, or, of course, your partner and any children.
• Send somebody you care about a card, either to mark a special occasion or just to remind them you love them.

Be A Good Listener

If you want to grow closer to somebody else, the number one thing you can do is give them your time and attention – and this applies not only to friends but family members and romantic partners too.

Being a good listener is not just about hearing the words they are saying, but it is also about watching for non-verbal cues that give you information and noticing patterns in their behaviour.

That means you need to be looking at the person speaking and providing them with your undivided attention when you are having a conversation – because you can’t be a good listener when you are on your phone or trying to multitask.

And even if you’re talking on the phone, you can still tell if somebody is not truly paying attention to what you say, so don’t think you can get away with doing something else just because they cannot see you.

Signs that you are actively listening include:

• Asking questions when you don’t understand or want further information.
• Making eye contact with the speaker.
• Providing feedback (e.g. nodding your head or saying something like “Agreed” or “I get that”) to demonstrate you are hearing what they say.
• Sharing your personal connections with the topic.
• Using body language and facial expressions that show you are interested in what they are saying.

Pursue Your Interests In The Community

A wonderful way to widen and enhance your social circle is to look for opportunities within your community to engage in your favourite pastimes or hobbies.

There are likely groups, MeetUps, and events around you that cater to your interests, and these are excellent places to meet people with similar interests.

Classes, clubs, and regular get-togethers on a specific topic (e.g. crafting, fitness, gaming, photography, reading, writing, etc.) can help you meet people like you and begin to forge new bonds, as can volunteering your time for a local charity.

And when you have others who like to do what you do, you are more likely to get out and do those things, as well.

But of course, just because members of a club share a common interest, that does not mean you necessarily will become friends.

I have spent a large part of my adult life being a member of several clubs for magicians, and during that time, I have met a few people with whom I became great friends, and I have met more than a few I would not choose to be with were it not for our common interest.

Always Be Honest And Accept Responsibility

Even with the best of intentions, you can still make a mistake as a friend or companion.

Nobody expects you to be perfect, and the best thing you can do when you mess up, hurt somebody else, or find yourself in a conflict, is to apologize and take responsibility for whatever it was that you said or did.

Accepting responsibility shows that you have integrity and that you are willing to learn from your mistakes.

And when you indicate that you are eager to learn and grow, others are more likely to trust you and be prepared to give you another chance.

However, all of the above is meaningless if you don’t also learn from your mistakes and work hard to rectify the situation or make amends for any hurt that you caused.

Avoid Negative Behaviours Like Blaming And Judging

If you want others to trust and feel comfortable with you, you need to behave in positive ways and avoid behaviours that could cause distrust from others.

Eliminating negative behaviours (e.g. including, but not limited to, blaming, criticizing, and judging) others can help.

When people think that all you do is talk badly about others or spend all your time together complaining or blaming other people, they are less likely to want to hang out with you.

In fact, since people often surround themselves with those who are like them, you may even find you end up being in a group of complainers – which can suck the life right out of you.

On the other hand, when you put out positive energy, you are more likely to get the same in return.

And when you notice others engaging in this type of behaviour, try to change the subject, or point out the positives as you see them, to show that you are not interested in focusing on the negative aspects of others or a situation.

Conclusion

Your emotional and spiritual connections with others are an essential part of your overall well-being, so engaging in daily habits that promote your social health will nurture existing relationships and help you forge new bonds, as well.

Because the fact is, humans are social animals, and our connections both to others and to nature is not once it once was.

In tribal villages, everybody knew each other, and their very survival depended on cooperation, but these days, in our huge cities, this is much less true.

For myself, I now live alone, with my dogs, after my wife died about 15 months ago, and I’m happy like that, most of the time. When she was alive, the conversations we had were enough for both of us, but now, even though I am primarily a strong introvert and do not crave going out in public or attending parties, for example, there are still occasions when I know I need to communicate with others – occasionally face-to-face with the handful of people I do see in real life, but mainly via Facebook, which I know is not the same, but strong bonds can still be built with people you’ll never actually meet.

Additional Resources

These are suggestions for those who wish to delve deeper into any of the above:

1. Active Listening Course
2. Just Listen