8 Tips For Getting Others To Like You Within The First 60 Seconds

How long do you think it takes to make a first impression?

Some scientists say that other people draw conclusions about you in as few as two seconds!

That’s just about enough time to say the word “understandably”.

Two seconds might be enough to gain an impression, but there’s still more time available to impress the other person.

We’re going to assume that a full 60 seconds is available to you to make a good impression.

And there are things you can do in 60 seconds (or less) to influence others that can’t be accomplished in only two seconds.

Here are a few techniques you can try:

1. Smile.

You come to a different conclusion when you meet somebody that smiles at you compared to somebody that has a blank expression or appears annoyed.

Smiling shows that you’re not a threat, are in a positive mood, and that you feel at ease. These are all good signs.

And as a bonus, smiling feels good, too.

2. Use their name.

Everybody likes to hear their own name in conversation. If somebody says, “How are you doing today, Mary?”, it feels a lot better than if your name isn’t mentioned.

That doesn’t mean you have to use their name in every other sentence, because that soon starts to sound weird. But throwing it out there a time or two will make a big difference.

And if it’s somebody you’ve just met for the first time, it demonstrates that you’re paying attention. After all, most people hear a stranger’s name and immediately forget it – often because they don’t care or assume they’ll never meet the person again anyway.

3. Give them your full attention.

Others are very astute at noticing whether you’re paying attention to them or not.

If you’re not, then they are not going to consider spending time with you worthwhile.

However, it’s very flattering when somebody gives us their full attention.

When you really focus intently on the other person, you’ll make a great impression, and they won’t forget you anytime soon.

Remember, almost everybody’s favourite subject is themselves, so if you are interested in what they have to say, they will have little choice but to like you.

4. Dress appropriately.

Your appearance matters even if you think it shouldn’t. I have long thought you should be able to wear whatever you want, whenever you want. Your attire says practically nothing about your competence at work, for example. The sad fact is, though, that societal norms are what they are and if you break convention, it’s likely people will either look down on you or even dismiss you completely.

So, dress appropriately for the situation and wear clothes that fit you well.

5. Put your phone away.

Put it in your pocket or purse until you actually need it.

And definitely avoid having your phone out while speaking to somebody.

If you are expecting an urgent call (or message), then let the other person know in advance. But you still shouldn’t keep glancing at or picking up your phone every few seconds.

6. Make eye contact.

Good eye contact shows that you’re attentive and confident. It’s like a smile on steroids!

If you get flustered by making strong eye contact, at least keep your gaze near their eyes. And avoid looking at the floor or anywhere else away from their face.

Unfortunately, this is a balance issue – too little eye contact makes it appear as though you are distracted or inattentive, while too much can appear creepy.

One recommendation is to maintain eye contact for 50% of the time when you are speaking and 70% of the time when you are listening, with each contact lasting for about four or five seconds. Obviously, this is something you will need to feel, since using a stopwatch would be bizarre and rude.

7. Be positive.

Be upbeat and happy. You need to give the impression that you love your life and are happy living it.

Act like somebody you would want to hang around with. After all, being with people are always negative and complaining is both draining and depressing.

So, put your best face on.

8. Show slightly more energy than the person you’re meeting.

When you first meet the other person, try to estimate their energy level on a scale of 1-100.This may, of course, be something that takes time and practice to fine tune.

Then, present yourself as being about five points higher than they are (regardless of where you actually are).

That’s because it’s a real downer to meet somebody with half your energy and enthusiasm (in the same way that negative people are, as discussed above).

On the other hand, it can be overwhelming to meet somebody twice as high on the scale as you are. It can make you feel inadequate and inferior, even though you might actually think you’re upbeat and happy.

If you enter the conversation just a little higher than the other person, you’ll lift them up to your level, and they’ll appreciate it.

Conclusion

First impressions count, maybe even more so these days when attention spans are reducing and there are so many distractions everywhere, both auditory and visual.

There are some situations where first impressions are even more important, such as job interviews and dates.

Fortunately, making a good first impression is one of those skills that anybody can develop, although it may take some longer than others. As a somewhat shy introvert, it’s something I have long found difficult, whereas I have some truly extraverted friends who seem to have a knack for these techniques.

A little effort and practice can go a long way toward making the most of your professional and social life.

Fortunately, there is, for most of us, no shortage of people to practise your skills upon.

You should therefore use these tips whenever you meet somebody new.

In fact, these tips will also work on people you know. Give them a try and notice what happens to your current relationships.

Additional Resources

These are suggestions for those who wish to delve deeper into any of the above:

1. Remembering People