What Parents Need To Know About Sexting

As if parents don’t have enough to worry about these days when trying to keep their children safe (e.g. sexual predators), here’s yet another one: sexting.

What Is Sexting?

In case you’ve not come across this term yet, sexting is the sending, receiving, or forwarding of sexually explicit or suggestive messages, images or photographs, primarily between mobile phones (but other digital devices may be used too, such as regular computers), of oneself to others.

Some Sexting Statistics

Although statistics show that sexting is more common among young adults, who are defined as being from 18 – 24 years old – almost one in five engages in this activity – it is still common in teenagers too.

One study found that around one in twelve teens have sexted, and twice that number have received them (which suggests that older people are sending these messages to people younger than they are, such as unsolicited dick pics, as they are known).

Around two thirds of sexts are sent to a boyfriend or girlfriend, although they may also be sent to somebody that the sender wishes to date (or hook up with, to use a more modern term).

What Are The Problems With Sexting?

While sexting has a place between couples (e.g. to spice up their sex life), with teens, it may seem (to them) like it’s just a bit of harmless fun, but there are many potential risks, including:

1. Embarrassment. As you probably know, once something is posted digitally, it is almost impossible to get rid of. So, just because somebody sends a suggestive or nude photo to their boyfriend does not mean it will stay private forever. If those messages or photos ever become public (e.g. because the two of you have a fight and break up, and the other person is seeking revenge), then any of your friends of family members may see things you’d rather they didn’t.
2. Bullying. Following on from the previous point, when what were meant to be private messages become public, you may experience bullying, either in person or via the Internet. This may include what is known these days as “slut shaming”.
3. Blackmail. Again, if a relationship goes south, your ex may use those photos you sent him or her to blackmail you – e.g. if you don’t do what I want, I’ll post your photos online.
4. Social Isolation. Rather than be associated with you after your naked photos have come to light, your friends may distance themselves from you.
5. Objectification. When others see your nude photos, you run the risk of becoming nothing more than a sexual object to others, usually members of the opposite gender, but not always.
6. Guilt. When your photos become public, you will probably feel ashamed and guilty of what you did, and those are not healthy emotions. If not dealt with, these can lead to anxiety, depression, and a loss of self-esteem.
7. Prosecution. Yes, if the person sending the sext message or the person receiving it are under age (as defined by local laws), then either or both of you could be had up on child pornography charges. And if the parent knows this is going on and does not try to stop it, they too may be charged.
8. Exposure To Sexual Predators. Once a photo gets out there, it may come to the attention of predators who may then start trying to groom your children.
9. Registering As A Child Sex Offender. If your child does end up being prosecuted, they may also be forced to register as a child sex offender, which is something that may stick with them for a long time, even life.
10. Foster Care. In some cases, Child Protective Services (or the equivalent in your country) may remove children from their parental homes and put them in foster care.
11. It Can Place The Entire Family At Risk. Because of the location information that is available with many digital photos these days, a private photo that goes public can inadvertently lead others (e.g. predators) to your family home. (See the Sanitize Photos section in this article for more information.)

So What Can You Do About Sexting?

1. First and foremost, it’s one of those subjects you need to discuss with your child at the appropriate age. Warn them of the dangers (you may be able to find recent examples from the news to hammer home your point), which are very real.
2. You should establish ground rules about what they may and may not do. This should include the consequences of their breaking those rules (e.g. removal of phone usage rights).
3. Become familiar with the lingo that teens use these days, because texting codes like LOL (i.e. Laugh Out Loud), or SWALK (i.e. Sealed With A Loving Kiss) which is what we used to hand-write on the back of envelopes when I was a teenager) are incredibly tame compared to what people are currently employing. Here are a few of the more common ones (and note that while some are innocuous, some very definitely are not):

4. Monitor their computer and phone usage – at least until they demonstrate they have earned your trust and understand the issues. You can find software or phone apps to help you with this.
5. Stay current with the latest developments in technology, etc. so that you will be better able to detect if anything inappropriate is going on.

Conclusion

In summary, when it comes to your children sexting:

1. It may be illegal, depending on the laws where you live.
2. There may be consequences that cause mental or physical harm to your children.
3. It may attract sexual predators, so I suggest checking out this article.
4. It may endanger your entire family.

Additional Resources

These are suggestions for those who wish to delve deeper into any of the above:

1. Parental Control & Location Tracking App
2. Parental Control Software