15 Strategies To Help Your Kids Disconnect From Their Phones Occasionally

Did you know that, according to Nielsen, teenagers send over 3,000 texts per month – which is about 100 a day, or one for every ten minutes they are awake?

Everywhere you look, people are glued to their phones, and this applies to young children as well as adults.

There are those who argue that young children should not have smartphones or tablets at all, which may be on the extreme side, and there is also the important question about if and how phones affect your health (particularly with the newer technologies, such as 5G).

There are also concerns about phones’ impact on people’s ability to communicate face-to-face, or when needing to write more formal messages and emails.

But regardless of those questions (which I might address in other articles at some stage), if your child has a phone and they spend every waking hour using it, then you may want to check out the rest of this article, which suggests a few strategies for getting them off their phone and engaging with the world around them once in a while.

Be A Good Role Model

As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, children learn through imitation, and the people they learn most from are their parents. They may not look like they’re actively learning, but they’re soaking up everything that is said and done around them.

So, if you don’t want your children to be staring at their phones all day, then neither should you.

Be Careful About Removing Their Phone As Punishment

In many ways, a child’s phone may be more of a connection to their social network than an adult’s is, so removing it as a form of punishment may not be the best approach in the longer term.

Distraction

They will be less likely to use their phones if they are otherwise engaged.

This might include doing chores, helping you do something (e.g. cooking, crafts), or going out for a bike ride or walk.

Go Prepaid

If you buy them a set number of minutes (and text messages) per month, they will soon become a lot more careful about how they use that allocation.

This doesn’t mean, of course, that they cannot pay for more themselves (e.g. from their allowance or for doing chores around the house).

Hide The Devices

During periods when they (or you) should not be using their phones, it can help to put them away somewhere, on the basis that out of sight means out of mind.

If the phones are not visible, children will be less tempted to try to use them.

Make A Contract

Before you get your children their first phone, you should sit down and discuss the rules (which, of course, means they should have their say too), and then have them sign an actual piece of paper to show that they understand those rules (and the consequences for breaking them), and that they agree to abide by them.

If they already have a phone, you can still use this approach, although your contract may need to be more in line with the unwritten rules that are already in place.

Make Use Of Natural Breaks

Since nobody likes to be interrupted in the middle of something, try to align the time they should stop using their phone with a natural break in what they’re doing (e.g. end of a level when playing a game, end of an episode if they’re watching a show).

No Phones At Meal Times

This one may be more difficult to implement, but it’s worth it.

It’s difficult enough these days to find time to sit down to eat as a family, but when one or more of you is present physically but not mentally, because they are on their phone the entire time, it can destroy the opportunity to interact.

Of course, this means that you too, as the parent(s), should abide by this same rule.

No Phones During Homework Time

Following on from the previous tactic, you should make sure they are not distracted by their phones when they should be doing homework.

If they do need to do some research for their homework, then they should be encouraged to use a regular computer instead.

Parental Control Apps

If necessary, you can install an app on your children’s phones that allow you, as the parent, to take control over it.

Some of these can let you set rules about which apps they can use, and when – and some can block access to text messaging whenever you want. And you can do this remotely.

Alternatively, in the USA at least, some providers offer features to block phones at certain times of the day.

Set Limits

There is a meme I’ve seen on Facebook a few times now that basically says that people used to use the Internet to escape from real life, whereas now they use real life to escape from the Internet.

And, of course, there is a degree of truth in this.

What the limits are is up to you, primarily, since your children are living in your home under your care, and it’s highly like the phone they’re using is yours too if you’re paying the bill.

But you should agree reasonable limits with your children about how much they can use their phones each day.

Sleep Is Paramount

It is crucial that your children get enough sleep (it’s recommended they need 9 – 10 hours per night – something which only 20% of children are actually getting at the moment), and using smartphones at or before bedtime is proven to disrupt their ability to get to sleep and stay asleep,

Even the faint glow from the phone’s screen is not good for you, according to some studies, so you should make sure that they do not use their phones after one hour before their bedtime.

One way to do this is to have them hand their phones to you, so you can charge them ready for the next day.

Tough Love

There will come a time, if it hasn’t already, when your children hate you – maybe for enforcing phone usage rules, or maybe just because they’re teenagers and that’s what they do.

Either way, you need to stand firm on these issues, because as the saying goes, parents are there primarily to be their children’s friends, but to keep them safe and guide them on how to be a responsible, functioning adult.

Use A Timer

If your child has a phone but is too young to tell the time (or understand its significance), you can use a kitchen timer instead.

Then, all you need to do is tell them that, when the timer rings, they need to put their phone down.

Use Non-Smart Phones

One option is to give your kids one of the older-style phones, that basically let you call people and send text messages, but nothing else.

There are two ways you can do this:

1. As a starter phone, to help them get used to the technology and to show they are willing to follow the rules.
2. As a punishment, where you swap their smartphone for this old-school one until they can demonstrate they have earned the right to use the modern phone again.

Conclusion

Needless to say, pretty much everything listed above applies to tablets as well as smartphones.

Although I can’t predict how the workplace will change in the coming years (or even if there will still be a workplace), children will one day have to accept that using personal communication devices when they are meant to be working is a no-no, so it’s not a bad idea to get them used to the idea early on.

And if and when they start dating, they need to understand that spending time on their phone when they should be talking to the person they’re with is not acceptable.

Finally, remember that all of these strategies are not designed as punishments, but as guidelines for using their devices responsibly, in terms of etiquette and their own health.

Additional Resources

These are suggestions for those who wish to delve deeper into any of the above:

1. Parental Control App