14 Tips On Keeping Your Children Safe From Sexual Predators

Adults preying on children is not exactly a new problem – but it is one that has grown into a much larger one thanks to modern technology.

It’s relatively easy these days for predators to hide behind fake identities on social media and chat rooms, and in many cases, there is little danger of being caught.

One experiment found that “over the course of one week, over 52 men reached out to an 11-year-old girl. We sit with that stat as we soberly shut down the TV and the camcorder.”

You can read the full article here (and there’s a PDF version you can download here if that link stops working) – it’s shocking and scary, and I’d like to thank the team who wrote that article and who are working to expose these people for all that they do.

Grooming, as it’s called, is a real thing, and it’s just one more thing for parents to worry about.

So, what can you, as a concerned parent, do to help keep your children safe?

The following tips include advice not only on protecting your children online, but in the real world too, because that is still another area of concern.

Be A Good Role Model

Since young children learn so much by imitating others, especially their parents, you should make sure you set a good example (e.g. in terms of how people treat each other).

Communication

You need to make sure your children are comfortable telling you anything (e.g. that somebody tried to do something they didn’t like, that somebody encouraged them to lie to or keep secrets from their parents), and that you listen to them carefully.

When they are young and they don’t know the right words or don’t know how to express their feelings, you also need to be able to detect subtle clues that something isn’t quite right, even if they don’t tell you explicitly.

Education

There are many aspects to this, including the following.

• Tell them never to respond to messages from people they do not know.
• Make sure they never agree to meet anybody in the real world that they have only ever met online.
• Ensure they realize that what they read or hear online may or may not be true. This applies to what people write (e.g. in messages), as well as their entire identity.
• Teach them never to answer any questions that will reveal information about them or their family (e.g. where the computer is, because this can reveal whether parents are around or not).
• Depending on their age, your children should learn the correct terms for parts of their body and for sexual acts, so that they can accurately describe what somebody else tried to do to them.
• Show them the parts of the body that are not appropriate for anybody else to touch without their consent.
• Teach them how to be assertive and stand up for their rights (e.g. to not be touched if they don’t want to be).
• Explain what sexual predators are, how they behave, what to look out for.

Ground Rules

Most of us were probably taught, when we were young, not to get into a stranger’s car or accept sweets / candies from people we didn’t know, and these are still the basics.

But nowadays, more is required, including not to give out their address or any other personal details (e.g. age, gender), not to post photos of themselves (or family members), etc.

You also need to make sure any user names or screen names they choose do not unintentionally reveal private or sensitive information. Ideally, your children should agree these online names with you first.

The level of detail you go into will depend on your children’s age and how much they already know about subjects such as sex.

Know Their Passwords

Make sure that you know what their passwords (e.g. to email) are, if they have their own email accounts.

One friend of mine has a rule that her children are not allowed to change their email passwords either – without her or their father’s consent and knowledge.

Know Where Your Children Are

This is still as relevant today as it ever way, and it also includes knowing who they’re with.

I get that children don’t like being subjected to the Spanish Inquisition all the time – I didn’t – but their safety is more important.

Location Tracking

Apps for phones exist that allow you to track where your children are. (Some of these are bundled with other features that all you to restrict what your children can and cannot do on their phones.)

This may well be deemed highly intrusive, but again, safety first.

Monitor All Online Activity

You should make sure you can and do check what they do online on a regular basis, on any and all devices they might use to access the Internet and the outside world.

Features already exist on some computers to do this, but additional software is available should you need it.

No Smartphones Or Tablets

Many may consider this an extreme solution, especially when your children say that all of their friends have smartphones or tablets.

However, if you put your children’s safety first, then it makes a lot of sense to wait until you know they are responsible enough to not fall for grooming attempts.

And besides that, there is growing evidence that using a smartphone is bad for you, both physically (e.g. because of the electromagnetic radiation they emit) and mentally (e.g. reduced attention span).

Further to this, you should keep your family computer in a room where it’s visible. Your children should only have their own computers (e.g. in their bedroom) once they’re old enough to be act responsibly.

No Social Media Accounts

Again, many of your children’s friends may have a presence on sites such as Facebook or Instagram or Twitter, but that doesn’t mean your children need them.

These are popular ways that predators use to groom children, and if they don’t have an account on such sites, they cannot be trapped.

The same restrictions should apply to chat rooms, which have been popular grooming grounds for predators for a long time.

Practise

You can and should rehearse possible situations (e.g. somebody offering candy or trying to touch them) so that your children can learn how to respond appropriately.

Sanitize Photos

You may not be aware of this, but many modern digital cameras, including those in smartphones, include location data when a photo is taken. This may be part of what is known as EXIF data, or it may be referred to as GPS data.

So, whether your child or you upload photos (e.g. of your house) to the Internet, you should make sure this location data is removed, because it can be used for criminal purposes.

How you do this will depend on the device you are using (e.g. Windows, Mac, iPhone, Android phone), so you will need to do an appropriate search (e.g. “how to remove location data from xxx” where “xxx” is your device type).

Security Protocols

If somebody else has to collect your children from school, say, then you should agree a password that the person has to provide to your child before they will go with them.

This password could be a word, a phrase, a date, somebody’s name, or whatever you choose, but make sure that only you and your child know it – and the person who is being asked to collect your child of course, but only when they need to know it.

Each child should have their own password, and ideally, it would be changed after each use (e.g. because somebody hanging around at the school might have overheard it being used).

Yes, this is something else to manage, but it’s worth it.

Stay With Your Child

As long as this is still age-appropriate, accompany your child to washrooms / restrooms, etc.

Remember that well-known saying, “I only turned my back for a moment”?

Well, while I appreciate it’s difficult to keep your eyes on your children at all times, it really can only take a few seconds for them to be taken.

Conclusion

As your children grow older and, hopefully, more knowledgeable and responsible, and they have earned your trust, you should be able to relax some of these rules, but that will depend on the child and the relationship you have with them.

Even young children may not like such oversight and rules, and when they become teens, they will definitely start to resent you, and that’s something you have to live with – you’re their guardians first and foremost, and keeping them as safe as possible while they are in your care is one of your parental duties.

Is it better to have an abused or dead child, or a live one who dislikes or hates you because of what they perceive as unreasonable rules?

It’s sad that parents have to think about such issues, but that doesn’t mean you should ignore the problem.

There’s one more thing I need to touch on, and that is what should you do when your child ignores your rules or advice.

Sometimes, an honest discussion is maybe all that’s required – e.g. to explain why what they did was dangerous – while at other times, if they’ve broken one of your core ground rules, you may need to consider disciplining them. This is, of course, a much larger subject, and is one I’ve written about here.

Additional Resources

These are suggestions for those who wish to delve deeper into any of the above:

1. Parental Control & Location Tracking App
2. Parental Control Software
3. The Invisible Rainbow