How to Tell If Your Senior Loved One Needs More Hands-On Support

Estimated Reading Time: 4 minutes

Thanks to guest contributor, Sharon Wagner, who runs SeniorFriendly.info, for this excellent article:


As people get older, physical skills like strength and balance decrease, making everyday tasks like doing the laundry or mowing the lawn a challenge. If you have an elderly parent or grandparent who lives in another city or state, you might want to consider moving closer to them so you can provide more hands-on support. This guide can help with your transition.

Recognizing signs your senior loved one needs more daily help

Before you uproot your life and move to be near your elderly loved one, confirm that it’s necessary. Parents often don’t like to inform their kids that they’re having trouble with daily chores or self-care, and may not share the need for support openly. It’s thus important to keep an eye out for signs of trouble when visiting.

The state of their home can indicate whether they need assistance. The house may require repairs and the lawn may be unmowed and poorly kept. On the inside of the house, dishes or piles of laundry may start to gather. A lack of sufficient food in the fridge and cupboards can also be a red flag, showing that a person doesn’t manage to go grocery shopping.

An individual’s personal appearance can also be an indicator. Older persons may struggle with self-care like bathing, brushing their teeth, and combing their hair. Bruises and scrapes resulting from falls are another warning sign. If you notice any of these issues, it’s time to talk to your parents about getting additional support around the house.

Determining whether your parents or grandparents can stay in their home

Different people require different levels of help as they get older. If your loved one is still able to take care of themselves and can handle most chores, they may be fine staying where they are. You can invest in some “aging in place” property renovations, such as adding grab bars by the toilet, to enhance their comfort and safety.

If you are worried that your parents or grandparents are no longer able to safely stay in their home, even with external support, it’s time to consider moving them to assisted living. Do your research before bringing up the topic, ensuring you can present possible options and have considered the financial aspects.

When discussing assisted living options, keep an open mind and beware that your loved one may not be ready to make this jump. You may need to start with a compromise—such as you moving closer to provide more help—as a first step. If they require more intense help later, you can revisit the topic.

Moving to be closer to your senior loved one

If you’ve decided to move to be closer to your parents or grandparents, advanced planning will ensure a seamless transition. Do your research regarding housing before you go, deciding whether you want to rent or buy. Online real estate listings can give you an idea of the price bracket in your chosen area.

To make your move easier, start by decluttering your home. You don’t want to waste time and money transporting old clothes or other goods you no longer use to your new home. The Simplicity Habit has tips for fast decluttering, including a room-by-room checklist. Take items you no longer need and donate, sell, or trash them depending on their condition.

Once you’ve cut down your belongings, you can hire movers. When researching moving companies, check references and online reviews in addition to comparing prices. Ask for a concrete price estimate from a few moving companies before selecting one. Once you’ve hired your chosen professional, all that’s left to do is pack!

Helping your parent or grandparent after moving

Once you’re settled into your new home, you’ll be able to spend more time with your parents or grandparents. This will allow you to get a better sense of what kind of help they could use around the house. For example, if they find cleaning and doing dishes tedious, having a maid service come by a few times per week can be useful.

Cooking is another task that seniors may struggle with. To simplify the job, look into meal delivery services specifically for older people. Care lists a diversity of options, including delivery of prepared meals, groceries, or meal prep kits. You can select the right type of service depending on how able your loved one is in the kitchen.

When considering the type of help your parents or grandparents need, don’t forget the exterior of their home. A backyard landscaping service can take care of tasks like mowing and pruning, for example. Check out local Angi landscapers online, reading reviews before requesting a price estimate.

Maintaining your own wellbeing as a caregiver

Hiring professionals to help with your parents’ or grandparents’ care can be a big boon. However, you’ll likely also want to provide some level of care and attention yourself. While it’s fantastic that you want to be there for your elderly loved one, it’s important to beware of the dangers of caregiver burn-out when taking a hands-on role.

Make sure to take care of yourself mentally and physically. Self Help Nirvana offers a plethora of useful resources you can consult to protect your well-being, covering everything from nutrition to exercise and meditation. Investing in your own health will ensure you’re fit to provide the best quality of care to your loved one.

If you find yourself feeling isolated or lonely as a caregiver, consider joining a support group. There are many networks available, including niche organizations targeting specific audiences—like LGBT caregivers or those caring for people with Alzheimer’s. A support group allows you to connect with others who empathize with your situation.

Moving to be near a senior loved one offers many advantages. They’ll get the help they need, while you’ll get to spend more time with them. With the above tips, the transition will be a cinch.

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