Introspection And The Power Of Becoming Self-Aware – Lesson 7 – How Your Experiences Shape Who You Are

Do Experiences Shape People?

Welcome to Lesson 7 in my Introspection And The Power Of Becoming Self-Aware course!

Do experiences shape people? Are the leftover memories from experiences just as important in terms of shaping people as the experience itself?

What The Research Says

Scholars believe it to be true – they believe that the experiences we go through and our memories thereof contribute to shaping who we are.

In one study, from the University of Delaware, it was found that while children don’t remember much of their first three years in life, the emotional support they receive during this period will influence their social life, education, and romantic relationships, 30 years later.

When a small child is raised in an environment that offers care and support, they typically perform better on standardized tests and pursue higher degrees. They’re also more likely to feel satisfied with their romantic relationships and find making friends easier.

So, despite the fact that they will have no memories of this point in their lives, these early years and how the parents support and communicate will help shape them as adults.

Of course, this isn’t the only study nor is it the only thing that shapes us. However, it does show how important our experiences are and how much of a difference it can make to who you become, even when you have no recollection of the experience whatsoever.

Another study, this time from the University of Helenland, found that extra-sensitive babies tend to experience higher levels of social anxiety as teenagers.

Human development is fairly complicated, but what these studies show us is that our experiences heavily shape who we become – even when we have no recollection of those experiences to draw on.

Of course, there are also scholars convinced that at the core of each individual is identity, that this identity is the root of existence, and it’s this core that helps shape identity.

This could be true in some sense, but who says your core is immovable? If you have a strong sense of your inner world and check in often to see what’s going on, then you will know that your core evolves with you.

Therefore, to those scholars, I would challenge them to prove that our experiences don’t shift our core identity as we travel the world.

I think it’s fair to say that the majority of people assume identity is a cumulation of experiences.

There is something both liberating and terrifying about this idea – every experience you have contributes to shaping who you are, one way or another.

Even a small experience can influence who you are. A seemingly inconsequential moment can alter how you feel, which in turn can set off a chain reaction to how you act, and how you choose to act at that moment can influence the entirety of your life.

Your identity is a collection of experiences and memories. The important factor to consider here is that you have the power to create your identity.

For example, Valerie was only a high school student when her father was offered an incredible job out of state.

Luckily for Valerie, her parents recognized how important her education was to her and understood that her high school was a prestigious one. They offered her a choice – Valerie could opt to stay to complete her senior year at her high school, meaning a move a year later, or she could move now.

Choosing to stay would mean her parents were effectively separated from each other for the best part of a year. It would also mean her younger siblings’ move would be delayed.

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