How To Find True Love – Lesson 3.7 – Strategies To Keep The Spark Alive

Welcome to Lesson #21, the final one, of the How To Find True Love course!

If you completed all the exercises, you have a greater understanding of who you are, what you want, and what to do if difficulties arise. Your reward is a relationship which can last for decades.

What you’ll learn in this lesson is as important as the previous 20 lessons – you’ll find suggestions that have kept many a relationship strong through the difficult times. (You might also want to check out my complete How To Keep The Spark Alive course, which goes into this topic in a lot more detail.)

Life gets routine. You each have a daily routine of work and responsibilities. If you have children, they can take up much of your time. To support your commitment to each other, carve out time just for the two of you.

Revisiting The Brain

The chemicals in your brain, your physiology, may have brought you together. It can also make life fun and exciting.

Oxytocin, sometimes called the Love Hormone, is a hormone known to start the birthing process. When women have difficulty delivering their child, they are sometimes given an IV with oxytocin in it to start or increase contractions.

Oxytocin has another crucial role – it assists the mother in bonding with their bawling, red-faced newborn.

It’s also present during times of positive emotional response, increasing bonding with others. Your relationship will benefit from conscious actions that produce oxytocin.

These strategies can assist in maintaining passion in your relationship:

1. Use your partner’s Love Language daily. Spontaneity is overrated. Until you get into a habit of using it all the time, schedule when you’re going to use your partner’s Love Language.
   • Life gets busy. You don’t want to forget the special gift, time, affirmation, errand, or physical closeness your partner wants and needs.
   • Scheduling expressions of Love Language is symbolic of how important they are. Don’t you put the things you don’t want to forget in your calendar?
2. The power of the 20-second hug. Hugging someone for 20 seconds activates oxytocin. With a 20-second hug you are connected heart-to-heart. You relax into each other, and trust increases.
3. Cuddling. Just rest in each other’s arms when watching TV, before going to sleep, after sex, and whenever you can.
4. Gazing into each other’s eyes. Hold hands to strengthen the connection. For an even stronger experience, hold hands and imagine a beam of energy going from your heart to your partner’s heart.

Continue Getting To Know Each Other

If you do an internet search for common complaints that marriage therapists hear, you’ll read things such as trying to change the other, lack of intimacy, emotional infidelity, focus on work or kids rather than each other, lack of time, and money issues. Communication is the solution to many issues.

Practise these communication techniques:

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