How To Find True Love – Lesson 2.6 – The Challenge Of Change

Welcome to Lesson #13 of the How To Find True Love course!

You’ve been exposed to a good deal of information. You’ve learned how your body produces chemicals which lead to a love “high”. You’ve explored the differences in sexuality, sensuality, and how people vary in what helps them feel loved.

This lesson is to help you look beyond those initial passionate stages of the relationship to where you’re celebrating 30, 40, or 50 years together. Those 40+ year relationships faced a number of challenges, so let’s look at some of the skills needed to get past those challenges.

The Need For Flexibility

People change and grow, as the following story shows:

“Grandma,” Chris asked, “how did you stay married to one man for so long?”

Grandma laughed. “Honey, I wasn’t married to one man. I was married to five.”

Chris’ eyes bugged out. “But you were never married to anybody but Grandpa!”

“Yes, but first I knew him as a young man in love who wanted to give me everything. He then became focused on his job. Later he was a man determined to be the best father he could. After all the children left home, he was trying to find himself again. Now he is a man nearing the end of his life and looking at his mortality. I love them all.”

People Have The Capacity To Change

Emotionally healthy people change. They have new experiences that affect them greatly and result in behaviour or temperament changes. Happy people become sad when they lose a job or a loved one. They become more serious when they take on new responsibilities.

If your partner is the one who changed, you will need to change to adjust to the new person greeting you each day. There can be major relationship challenges when you wish for the way they used to be.

You, also, will change. For a healthy relationship, your partner will need to adapt to the new you. Recall the “A” and the “H” relationship that we discussed in Lesson #3? Growing and changing are what can result in an “A” relationship collapsing if the other partner doesn’t adjust to the growth of the other.

When Change Is Needed But Resisted

There are ingrained behaviour patterns that need changing if the relationship is to flourish.

These behaviours in the early stages of your relationship might signal danger:

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