How To Find True Love – Lesson 1.5 – The Role Of Past Relationships

Welcome to Lesson #5 of the How To Find True Love course!

Congratulations on getting to this point!

Hopefully, you’ve gained insight into your own relationships. You’ve learned about the chemical nature of relationship, Soul Mates, and how your childhood family can affect your relationship.

Now, let’s look at the role of past relationships on who you’re attracted to.

There are two kinds of relationships that affect your current and future relationships:

• The ones hidden in your subconscious mind.
• The ones you haven’t let go of.

The family you grew up in and past relationships can have you feeling comfortable with the familiar even when it’s painful.

More Childhood Reverberations

In Lesson 2 you learned how you adsorbed family relationship patterns. You also learned that your experiences as a child can feel familiar in later relationships.

Healthy families have much the same story, with the following characteristics:

• Dependability
• Honest Communication
• Mutual support
• Problem Solving
• Trust

Unhealthy families have different stories. In addition to the opposite of the five characteristics above, you can add addictions, abuse, affairs, mental illness, and more.

When you are attracted to somebody new, ask yourself the following questions:

• Where have I felt this before?
• Who do these feelings remind me of?
• Do I want to recreate that relationship?

People Like The Familiar

The familiar is comfortable. To try something unfamiliar, even when unhappy, is a risk. As the saying goes, “The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know.”

Your childhood breeds familiarity. The family you grew up in is familiar to you and you’re attracted to that familiarity. You’re attracted to that “vibe” or “energy”. You can’t explain it, especially if you’re trapped in the strong chemicals of infatuation.

To have a different relationship than in childhood, you need to make a conscious decision to do so.

The key is to engage your mind and make rational decisions to overrule your heart and the chemicals your body produces.

If you grew up where there was addiction, abuse, abandonment, or other painful patterns, you are primed to repeat those patterns. Thankfully, not everybody does, but there is a tendency to do so.

Know what’s important to you in a relationship. (That’s the focus of the next module.) Know how valuable and wonderful you are. (That’s addressed in the next lesson.) You deserve a joyful, passionate and supportive relationship.

Your past romantic relationships, even those in adolescence, will give you valuable information about who you’re attracted to.

Romances Of The Past

What type of person have you been attracted to? What qualities did your first crush have? How did they treat you? Taking the time to answer these questions will help you find a healthy life partner.

Let’s look at a few patterns:

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