100 Tips For Successful Single Parenting

Being a single parent can feel isolating, exhausting, and confusing at times.

But it can also be wonderful to feel as though you are free to make decisions about parenting because you are doing it alone.

While many people do not set out to be single parents, they find themselves in the position of parenting alone, usually because of divorce or bereavement, although it can often feel like you’re parenting alone if your partner is abroad (e.g. with the military) for extended periods of time.

Parenting is the role of a lifetime – there is nothing more enjoyable than watching your small human grow into a smart and successful adult. Very few things, if anything, will ever feel as rewarding as this.

So if nobody has told you this lately, you are doing an incredible job and your child loves you!

Let’s get started then with some tips and strategies to support you on your solo parenting journey.

Note that some of these tips may apply to any parent, not only single parents, and they are separated into various categories.

Asking For Help Tips

All parents need a bit of help from time to time, but single parents, who carry the brunt of the burden, may need more than most.

1. Recognize that everyone needs help so practise saying the words, “Would you be willing to help me?”
2. Identify people who you know will show up for you when you need them.
3. Help others out when they need it also.
4. Know that you are NOT a failure if you have to ask for guidance or help.
5. Read self-help and personal development books (and, of course, read many of the articles on this site, which is all about self-help and personal development).
6. If you are a religious or spiritual person, then pray or manifest what you need in life – this kind of spiritual connection can be so helpful and feel so peaceful.
7. Know that others want to help you and that you do not have to do everything alone.

Co-Parenting Tips

Co-parenting can be difficult, so it is important for your child that you and your ex are able to parent amicably and can get along – at least in the presence of your children.

8. If your split was difficult and less than amicable, when and only when you are ready, try to forgive your ex for whatever happened so that there is no animosity towards them as you will have to work together for many years to come and there is a good chance you will be around each other in the future at events, graduations, marriages, christenings, etc.
9. Complete the legal process as needed so that both parties know and understand all of the expectations.
10. Communicate consistently about expectations and how your child is doing.
11. Do not talk badly about your ex in front of your child.
12. Be honest with your child about why you are no longer with their other parent – and remember to let them know that the situation you find yourself in was not their fault.
13. Stay focused on your child, always.
14. Pick your battles – there is nothing worse than fighting a fight that was never worth it to begin with.
15. Respect your child’s time with their other parent and try to refrain from calling or texting too often.
16. When you have time off as a parent because they are with your ex, enjoy this time and practise your self-care. This is your time to refresh and rejuvenate.

Difficult Conversation Tips

At some stage, you will need to have conversations with your child as they grow that many parents (single or otherwise) find difficult. Such subjects may include, for example, health, relationships, sex, and other issues.

For single parents, relationship issues may be the most tricky, because if you are single as a result of divorce (i.e. instead of bereavement), your child can clearly see that your relationship was not successful, so it’s important to address the reasons why that situation developed – and what you think you would do differently next time. (It’s my belief that a lot of relationships, my first marriage included, end because one or both partners do not truly know themselves yet – something I’ve written about here.)

17. Be well informed yourself – read research and evidence-based articles so you fully understand what you need to talk to your child about.
18. Explain to them about sex and consent at an early age so they understand what that looks like and can ask questions.
19. Create an environment where they feel free to ask you questions by not laughing at them or saying “I don’t want to talk about that”.
20. Talk about mental health early on to ensure they feel mentally healthy. This may be especially relevant if you are single because your partner died and left your child without one of their parents.
21. Ask your co-parent to have similar conversations to reiterate the key points, so that your child is hearing the same message from both of you.
22. Ensure they have a role model of the same gender around they can talk to or ask questions if you are the opposite gender of your child.
23. Offer them literature, reading, or educational videos as necessary.
24. Offer for them to talk with their doctor about health and sex.
25. Understand what the school is teaching and identify if you need to teach more than that, depending on your preferences.
26. Explain to your child ways for them to communicate to you if they feel something inappropriate has happened to them.
27. Create a safe and understanding environment free of shame.

Discipline Tips

Having to discipline your child is likely one of the most difficult parts about parenting. It is never fun to watch them fail or do something that puts them in danger or is not appropriate.

Remember, they are growing and learning how the world works and how they fit into it, just as you once did.

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