What I Appreciate Most

Today’s WordSmith Deck prompt (see this article for what this is all about) was:

“What do you appreciate most about your life right now? Why?”

There are many things I really appreciate, including the following.

My Privacy And Solitude

Yes, even though my wife died almost two years ago, so I have nobody to talk to most days, I love being alone – well, not quite alone, since I have my dogs (see below).

I am predominantly an introvert with little need or desire for external stimulation or social activities, and have always enjoyed my own company.

I have no neighbours, so there’s nobody who can peek in through the windows (which is great in summer time, when it’s hot, given that I don’t like wearing clothes), there is very little traffic past the end of my drive (which is several hundred yards long), and I get to have a great view from my backyard:

My Dogs

Without my three dogs, I think I’d be lost now that I am alone.

They provide my main reason for keeping going, and I love their company and the comfort they provide.

I have always “talked” to them, but more so now, and while I know they are not going to answer me, it feels as close to having a regular conversation as it gets, most of the time.

The Weather

While it does get very windy here, as I live on top of a mountain to all intents and purposes, over 5,500 feet above sea level, that’s OK (for the most part), because compared to England, where I used to live, the weather is so much better.

In winter time, it does get cold, but it never feels as cold as it used to back in the UK, and in summer time, it does get hot – over 90 degrees many days.

But, the big difference is, I think that it’s rarely damp or humid here, and that is probably what made England feel so cold and clammy.

My Independence

I have worked from home (with my wife when she was here) since 2006, and not having to be managed by anybody else is such a great feeling after being in the corporate world for over 20 years.

It’s not always been easy – in fact, it probably never has, and I’ve worked far more hours than I used to when I had a “real” job – but when it’s for yourself, it’s different.

I don’t think I’ve had a full day off since about 2007, although I am working fewer hours these days whenever I can.

And when you have customers, it’s always been our policy that we should treat them as we wish to be treated, and that means prompt and timely responses that actually answer all of the questions or concerns they raised.

It may sound like one of those things all companies say, but we have always appreciated that people have chosen to spend their hard-earned money with us, and not with somebody else.

My Time

I am making better use of the time I have available, now it’s more under my control, and that means I am making time to read and write again.

When my wife was here, our daily schedule was crazy – not going to bed until anywhere from 5 – 7 o’clock in the morning, and eating, if at all, at odd times of day. (Many days dinner wouldn’t be until after midnight, which was too late for me, so I simply didn’t eat.)

These days, I have a much more sensible routine, which helps me and my dogs, I’m eating twice a day at reasonable hours, and I try to take most of the afternoon and evening off, which helps keep me more mentally fresh.

And, of course, I’m grateful that I can spend most of my time the way I want to.

My Health

I don’t know how healthy I really am, because I’ve not visited the doctor since 2006, but I have had trouble breathing almost since I arrived here in the USA, which is probably linked to the anosmia (i.e. an inability to smell or taste anything) that developed at the same time.

Overall though, I appear to be well enough to do what I need to do, and given my situation, that’s more than enough for me.

My Friends

Several years ago, I became good friends with the man who delivered my mail, and now, he does my grocery shopping for me once a week, and also helps with jobs around the house I don’t know how to do.

When he comes, we usually, if he has the time, have a chat on a variety of subjects, which helps with the issue of being alone.

Other days of the week, either one of his daughters or one of his grandsons delivers the mail, and although I don’t usually talk to them for as long, they do chat with me when their work permits, and for that, I am also very grateful.

These three people are pretty much the only people I see or talk to at all, and I’m OK with that – as I said above, I don’t need a lot of human interaction, and while there are still days when I don’t talk to anybody (except myself and the dogs), I do get to talk to one of these three friends several times a week on average, which keeps my conversatio tank topped up.

Money

Although I had to shut down my main business a while ago, for reasons largely outside of my control, I am not desperate for money and am making enough to keep me going.

I’d like to make more, because of the flexibility and options that would give me, and because I’ve been working since I was 17, which is 41 years ago now, and could do with something approximating retirement, but especially in the current situation, with the effects of the current coronavirus scare, it’s a relief not to have to worry about paying my bills.

Education

I am grateful that I received a good education all those years ago, that I was encouraged to ask questions, and that my mother especially spent so much time with me during my formative years (including teaching me to read).

I could not imagine being a mindless unquestioning slave, and I really value the fact that I don’t follow the herd just because the majority say something is true.

Family

I should actually say lack of family, because most of them died years ago.

It was a small family – I was an only child, only grandchild, and only nephew – and while I did love some of them (e.g. my mum and maternal grandfather), there were others who had few redeeming qualities.

For example, my father taught me a lot – about the sort of person I did not want to be. He was a misogynist, chauvinist, racist, homophobe.

I may have some family left in England – they would be old by now – but since I’ve not been in touch with them for over a decade, I don’t really know one way or the other, and I’m OK with that.

Facebook Friends

I count these differently from friends as usually defined, because I have never met most of them, and probably never will.

However, that doesn’t mean I don’t care for some of them, and vice versa, and when I posted about my wife dying, I was both surprised and shocked at how many people took the time to express their sympathies, with some even offering to let me stay with them for a while if necessary.

It is a community, and I love that you can reach out and ask for help or advice, or even have a chat via their messenger feature.

Conclusion

All of the above contribute to my well-being and, as far as I can tell, I am happy enough most of the time.

I do have minor setbacks, mainly to do with either the house or technology, but in the grand scheme of things, they’re not really big issues, not in the way that many people have.

So, I have a lot to be grateful for – things that many people would give a lot for, and I don’t have a lot to be bothered about.

I know many people would find it difficult to live this unusual lifestyle, and plenty are because of the lockdown (e.g. they are not used to spending so much time at home with their family), but I consider this lifestyle a privilege, and there is very little I would change.

Finally, I have to confess that I was a bit sceptical of all this gratitude stuff that has become increasingly popular, and while I’m not yet at the stage of writing down three things I’m grateful for each day, I am beginning to see the merit in this practice.

In the meantime, if you want to read more about gratitude, you’ll find a longish article about it here.