My Experience With Alcohol

While I get that people have different experiences of drinking alcohol, my first exposure to it was when I was around four years old.

Yes, four!

On Saturday afternoons, my grandparents would come round, have dinner with us, and then they’d play either dominoes or cards until they returned home again.

During the afternoon, my grandfather liked to watch the wrestling on ITV’s World Of Sport, and, as many adults do, they would have a drink – usually sherry at this time of day.

It was, in fact, that quintessentially British sherry, Harveys Bristol Cream, which was super-sweet.

And even though I was only four, my parents would give me half of a very small glass of this sherry – and I was expected to make it last, because there were no refills.

Their thinking was that if they allowed me to have alcohol from an early age, in tiny quantities, then I wouldn’t go crazy when I was older.

They may not have known this at the time, not being travellers, but this is, of course, the way children in continental Europe have been raised for a long time – typically with wine at meal times.

And as I grew older, maybe starting from the age of ten or so, when they went out for meals with family or friends, I was allowed a small amount of wine with my dinner, and maybe even a liqueur with coffee.

This was all strictly monitored, but I do remember feeling very “grown up”.

When I reached the age of 17, they had a club at school, for people of that age and older, where alcohol was available – but only beer and lager. There was no wine and definitely no spirits.

And whenever it was open, at least one of the teachers had to be present, for obvious reasons.

It was a privilege to be allowed to go to this club, and I don’t think I recall anybody abusing it.

And once I left school, shortly after that, and was legally old enough to drink in pubs and bars by myself, I did so – but for the most part, I didn’t go wild.

Maybe it’s because of what my parents had done, or maybe it was just who I was.

That’s not to say I haven’t got completely drunk on occasion – embarrassingly so one Christmas, or so I’m told given that I have no recollection of the event – but I think I can honestly say it’s probably no more than half a dozen times, and I’m now in my early 60s.

Once I got married the first time, we used to drink, both at home and when out, but it was rare for me to have much.

This was partly because I was usually the driver, if we were out, but partly because I simply did not enjoy feeling out of control.

My first wife, on the other hand, developed a serious problem with alcohol that eventually destroyed our marriage. (Well, it clearly wasn’t 100% her fault, because relationships rarely break up owing to the actions of just one person.)

It was only when I started dating the lady who would become my second wife that my imbibing of alcohol changed.

We were talking one day – this was a long-distance, Internet relationship – and I’d just sent her an ecard to celebrate something (I don’t recall what it was) and that card featured a bottle of champagne, which was a fairly common image to go with celebratory messages.

She thanked me for it, of course, but mentioned that she never drank alcohol. In fact, she never had, and I assume that was because of what she witnessed during her childhood (which was something she didn’t like to discuss).

Shortly after that, and we’d agreed that, once my divorce was finalized, I would move to the USA to be with her, she said that if I were to do that, I would have to stop drinking alcohol.

I know many people would see that as an infringement of their rights and an unwelcome interference, but for me, given alcohol had never played a particularly large part in my life, it wasn’t a big deal for me.

I finished off the bottle of malt whiskey (my tipple of choice) I had on the go over the next week or two, and then that was it.

I didn’t feel any different, maybe because I had never drunk enough to have it cause withdrawal symptoms, and that was the end of it, as far as I was concerned.

I’m pretty sure I haven’t missed drinking alcohol since 2005, when I stopped, and I don’t feel any inclination to start again – even though my wife died in late 2018 and bereavement may be one common reason to start drinking, as it was with my father, who went from being a heavy drinker to an alcoholic after my mother died

There was one occasion, when we were looking for possible solutions to one of my wife’s many health issues, that we read about alcohol being helpful for a specific condition, and against her better judgement, she ordered the lowest-alcohol wine she could find – a Lambrusco I’d recommended.

I know this wine is often ridiculed as being more like soda, but on a hot summer’s day, I have to confess to having enjoyed a glass or two back in England because it’s refreshing.

When the wine was delivered, she tried it, watered down and mixed with some flavouring, but she couldn’t stomach it.

That left us with close to a dozen bottles, so I finished it off – like literally one mouthful per day, until it was all gone, months later.

Over the past year or so, I have discovered that alcohol (the type used in beverages) is actually listed as a Group I carcinogen.

I suspect most people have no idea this is the case – and even if they did, I doubt many of them would stop drinking.

After all, tobacco has been known to cause cancer for decades now, but people still smoke (even though the numbers are dropping in many countries).

I do find people’s obsession with alcohol fascinating though – it’s a potentially dangerous dug that is socially acceptable, even though it leads to no end of harm (e.g., drunk driving accidents and loss of life, domestic abuse), and it has become so ingrained a part of culture that when you tell people you don’t drink, they look at you like you’re crazy.

I remember years ago, when I was probably in my 20s or early 30s, and I went on the one serious diet of my life (a food-combining type of diet that actually worked well for me), and that diet excluded alcohol.

Back in those days, my first wife and I used to go to my parents’ house for dinner every Sunday, and that had always included alcohol, of course.

When my mother asked me what I wanted to drink, I replied I’d have something like a Coke or Pepsi. (These are something else I gave up long ago now.)

Her first reaction was to say, and I quote, “No, a proper drink.“

That, to me, summarized the prevailing attitude to alcohol – that anything else was not a fit drink for adults, and didn’t even count as a drink.

I know there are some who claim that drinking in moderation is actually good for you, and I do understand that it can, temporarily at least, make you feel relaxed and less stressed.

But if it’s carcinogenic, then is any amount really safe?

It seems as though drinking alcohol will continue for as long as people want it, and I don’t see demand slowing down or stopping any time soon.

Of course, the USA has already experienced the results of trying to ban it, so it’s pretty clear that’s not the answer.

The fact is, life today especially is stressful, and people appear to need some form of escape from the day-to-day pressures – and drugs, of all sorts, including alcohol, caffeine, tobacco, as well as the so-called recreational drugs, play a large part in helping people get through the week.

And while chronic stress is harmful too, I find it ironic that people deal with that stress by choosing something else that is also harmful.

One problem here is, not surprisingly, the fact that people are inundated with both direct and subliminal advertising – both ads for alcoholic beverages, and seeing them being drunk as a matter of course in so many TV shows and movies.

It’s also not surprising that you are never told about the harmful effects of alcohol, because the manufacturers are only interested in their bottom line and their responsibility to the shareholders.

Sadly though, the current coronavirus scare has shown that, while many people are now “health conscious” when it comes to the wearing of masks, they continue drinking alcohol, smoking, eating junk food, and not getting enough exercise or sleep, almost all of which pose much more significant health risks – for most people, at least.

Mankind’s relationship with alcohol is one of those puzzling quirks that makes you wonder whether humans are the most intelligent species on the planet.

If there’s anything to take away from this article, I think it’s this:

1. If you drink alcohol now, then ask yourself why. I know many say it’s because they enjoy the taste, and while that may be true, is that the only reason? (I say this because few people want to admit, to themselves or others, that they like the effect alcohol has on their brain and/or body.) And can you honestly say you just want a drink, and that you don’t feel like you truly need one?
2. It’s worth reading up about alcohol and the effects it has on you, so at least you can be better informed and know that, should you wish to carry on drinking it or stop drinking it, you’re making that decision consciously.
3. If you decide you are drinking too much, then please do consider getting help – if your drinking has reached the stage of an addiction, then you probably already know, deep down at least, that it can be incredibly difficult to get rid of that addiction without help.
4. Most of all, however, you should do what you feel is right for you – provided it does not harm others, of course, which is always a great principle to live by.