How Do You Define Success?

Today’s WordSmith Deck prompt (see this article for what this is all about) was:

“How do you define success, and how will you know when you have it?”

I was actually going to write about something else today, but when I saw this prompt, I thought I’d share my answer instead.

So, here goes.

The fact is, I don’t think I ever did define success until very recently – and I’m over 60 now.

Maybe if I had done this earlier, my life would have been different – but that’s OK (because as I’ve said many times, I think regrets are pointless).

These days, I think success is really just a case of living up to the principles you choose – either you live up to them, or you don’t.

I know this is a non-standard definition of success – most people talk about careers, money, family, belongings, while others take it a bit further by saying success is the ability to choose how you spend your time.

And I would agree with that last one, I suppose – are humans really meant to spend 40+ hours every week for 40 years selling their mind and/or body to somebody else (so that they can get rich while you barely scrape by)?

I know life was probably very hard, but if you go back to the times when people mainly lived off the land or were skilled artisans or tradespeople, were they freer than people today?

Part of today’s problem is, I think, that humans (in western countries, at least) no longer have to worry that much about basic survival – and because of that, our problems are all man-made, and often superficial.

Success also seems, for a lot of people, more about external things than internal ones – it’s all about what other people see, such as a posh car, a large house, expensive vacations.

In effect, they are status symbols that massage our egos.

But you could take all of those away and be left with what?

Success is a mindset and the only person who can really judge whether you are indeed successful is yourself.

That won’t stop others judging you too, of course, but can they really assess whether you are a success or not without knowing what’s going on inside your head?

Only in terms of the exterior perspective, and societal norms, whatever they may be.

But that is not really enough, or meaningful, to me.

Another facet of success is that people treat it like a destination – in the same way that people pursue happiness.

But if being successful is living up to your own standards, whatever they may be, then every decision you take in life is an opportunity for you to be successful or not.

That makes success a journey that only really ends when you die. (Well, technically, you could continue to provide meaning and benefit to others after that, via works of art or inventions, say, but that’s nothing to do with you any longer.)

I was thinking about this a few days when I was writing my daily haiku – I found an image of a rat (yes, I know, that may strike you as weird), and it inspired me to think about how all life is precious.

I accept this goes against the grain for a lot of people, many of whom don’t even think all human life is precious or equal, never mind animals.

But, even though humans have become the dominant species on earth, by some measure at least, that does not mean we have the right to treat other life how we want.

And yes, I know that the Bible says God gave mankind dominion over all the animals, but as an atheist, that has no more meaning for me than being told never to mention the name Voldemort.

We may be the most “successful” species, but we also cause the most harm to life on this planet.

So, where I struggle with this “all lives matter” idea (and I use this term in the broadest possible sense), is this: there are some creatures (e.g. rats, flies, wasps) where it’s really difficult for me to assess what value they add – they seem to be takers, without contributing anything back.

Now, this may be because I don’t know enough about these creatures and what they do, and that’s fine.

And if Richard Dawkins was correct in The Selfish Gene, then our behaviours (actually, all animals’ behaviours) may well be driven by some innate drive to continue our genes – which is weird given that some people, including myself, have no desire to reproduce.

If that is the case, then no creature has any obligation to help others – as long as they, and maybe their species as a whole, survive to the next generation.

That isn’t to say, of course, that some animals, including humans, don’t go out of their way to help others who need assistance.

So, even though I see no purpose in rats and mice and flies and wasps, they are still living creatures, doing what they do, in which case do I have the right to terminate their lives?

And what about dangerous animals? There are rattlesnakes, for example, where I live.

Is self-defence a valid reason to kill another creature?

I think I would agree that it is, but when does the presence of a dangerous animal become a genuine threat?

I’ve seen a rattler in the backyard, sunning itself and minding its own business – and when my dogs approached, it slithered away.

I could, if I’d had a gun, shot the thing, just to be “safe”, but was it ever really a threat? Probably not.

I’m not sure how I got off on this side-track (which is pretty much the story of my life), but back to the topic under discussion.

To me, success is whatever you want it to be, but I think if you’re considering success to be a goal rather than a way of life, you’re going to miss out on so much along the way, and even run the risk of disappointment once you reach a point of achieving that “success”.

Conclusion

Again, this has been another personal article, but there is a broader point to be made here – and that is, how do you define success?

And, more importantly, once you know what it means to you, how will it affect your life, and the lives of the people you touch (metaphorically, of course)?

I do think it would be worth considering this question as soon as you can in life, but remember that your definition need not (and likely should not) be static – we grow and change as we age, and what you deem success is probably going to be refined over the years too.

Finally, while I’m on the subject of success, you might like to check out my Brain Training For Success course.