Psychopaths – What Are They, The Traits They Display, And Coping Strategies

You often see the word “psychopath” bandied around, but what is a psychopath, how do you recognize one, and, more importantly, how do you deal with them?

This article will answer all of those questions for you.

What Is A Psychopath?

This term, which has been used since the early 1900s, is generally defined as somebody who lacks morals and/or empathy, or any sense of other people’s rights.

These days, it is more likely to be described as antisocial personality disorder (APD) in the medical textbooks, with psychopathy being just one subtype of this condition.

A psychopath is very similar to a sociopath, but the latter do know what’s right and wrong – they simply don’t care. In other words, sociopaths do have a conscience (albeit a very weak one), whereas psychopaths do not. (Some psychopaths may know the difference between right and wrong, but they don’t believe those rules apply to them.)

This is why psychopaths are often considered to be the more dangerous of the two.

Another difference is that psychopaths tend to be cold and calculating, whereas sociopaths are more hot-headed and impulsive.

A third personality type that has overlapping features with psychopaths is the narcissist – they are highly selfish and lack empathy, but they do tend to have a conscience (of sorts).

Types Of Psychopath

It turns out that there are two types of psychopath – primary and secondary.

Speaking about primary psychopaths, a researcher at the University of Bonn said that, “People with this character trait want to get their way, have no fear of the consequences of their actions, and can withstand stress very well.”

She then compared those to secondary psychopaths, stating, “Persons with high values here lack an inner brake. Their self-control is thus weak, and they therefore do not have any consideration for others.”

Traits Of A Psychopath

Here are some of the more common traits of psychopathic people:

1. Amorality. As described above, psychopaths typically don’t have morals (as opposed to sociopaths, who do have them but ignore them, making them immoral).
2. Arrogance. That is, they think they are better than others (e.g. smarter, more deserving).
3. Bad Judgement. In spite of considering themselves smart, they often make poor decisions.
4. Blame Game. In order to divert attention, they will point their finger and blame other people for their failings.
5. Callousness. This is a natural result of being amoral – they do not care how their actions affect others.
6. Calmness. Psychopaths remain calm and fearless in situations that would stress most other people out.
7. Charming. Many psychopaths present, initially, at least, as charming and friendly.
8. Cunning. They can use devious methods to obtain what they want.
9. Delusions Of Grandeur. This is somewhat related to arrogance, but they vastly overrate their qualities and abilities, so they may come over as over-confident.
10. Easily Bored. Psychopaths are frequently looking for something new to do.
11. Egomania. They are incredibly self-centred and selfish, and find it hard to love anybody else.
12. Exploitative. Psychopaths will use people to get what they want – and then discard them like trash.
13. Glibness. In spite of their charm and easy-going nature, they are superficial and only putting on a show.
14. High-Risk Behaviours. Because such people don’t experience emotions the way most of us do, they seem to enjoy putting themselves into dangerous situations, maybe because the resulting adrenaline rush actually helps them to feel something.
15. Lying. Psychopaths will lie to obtain what they want, and they won’t care one jot about doing so.
16. Manipulative. This goes hand in hand with many of the other traits listed, but they will do anything to anybody if it helps them achieve their goals.
17. Poor Self-Control. As described above, secondary psychopaths especially lack the “inner brake” to rein in their impulses.
18. Promiscuity. Psychopaths are often sexually promiscuous (and don’t, of course, care about emotionally hurting others).
19. Refusal To Take Responsibility. They are incapable of accepting that they make mistakes or fail.
20. Remorseless. Since they lack a conscience or any sense of morality, they feel no regret for what they do.
21. Unfeeling. Psychopaths typically lack empathy, and therefore don’t care how their words and actions affect others.
22. Violence. While being psychopathic does not automatically mean the person is a violent serial killer, the fact they have a low tolerance for disappointment and frustration does mean they may release their pent-up tension through violent behaviour, which can be vented on objects or people.

All of this means that, when you first meet a psychopath, it will likely be very difficult to see their true character.

They will be charming, friendly, apparently sincere, and it will only be later on, when you have accepted that persona, that their real nature reveals itself.

This is, of course, partly what makes such people so dangerous.

Psychopathic Language Patterns

Studies have looked at the words psychopaths use, and their overall language patterns, and found that, compared to non-psychopaths, they use:

1. The past tense, perhaps as a way to dissociate themselves from the present (i.e. reality).
2. A lot of filler words, such as “um”, “er”, “ah”, “like”, and “you know”.
3. Cause-and-effect type phrases, such as “because” or “so that”, perhaps as justification for their actions.
4. Many “survival” words, relating to the basics of existence such as eating and sleeping and drinking (i.e. as opposed to more emotional or spiritual words).

How To Deal With Psychopaths

The best way, of course, is to avoid them and break contact, but if this is not possible, here are a few strategies that can work:

1. Avoid Distractions. Psychopaths (and sociopaths) will try to distract you from what they are saying so that you have less energy to devote to understanding what’s really going on. So, try to ignore unnecessary gestures, attempts to invade your personal space, etc.
2. Build A Support Group. One of the tactics psychopaths use is to try to turn people against you (and, by inference, toward them), so having a strong support group (e.g. family, friends, co-workers) who also understand what the person is like can be helpful. Remember, there’s safety in numbers.
3. Do Your Research. If you get a bad feeling about somebody, or another person warns you about them, try to do some covert research – but obviously, don’t let that person know. Then, when you meet them, you can compare what they say and do with your private notes to help you decide whether you were right to be wary.
4. Establish Boundaries. Just like children, psychopaths will push your buttons to discover just where your boundaries are, so it’s important that you maintain clearly defined limits beyond which you will not go.
5. Guard Your Weaknesses. Psychopaths are experts are uncovering people’s weaknesses, so that they can exploit them, so try to be on your guard.
6. Look For Congruity. By this, I mean you should check that their actions and behaviours match what they say. Psychopaths may be very good at saying the right thing, but their actions often tell a different story.
7. Offer A Win/Win. Since psychopaths don’t like to lose (and may not even accept that they have lost), then try to find a solution that puts them in a good light and/or gives them a way out. In other words, let them think they have won, even if they haven’t got everything they were looking for.
8. Rein In Your Body Language. Since only 7% of what you say is conveyed by the words you use (in terms of perception, not effectiveness), psychopaths are good at reading your body language (and your tone of voice). So, by trying not to use obvious gestures that reveal your true feelings (e.g. nervousness), you remove one of the tools they can use against you.
9. Stay Calm. However angry or upset a psychopath may make you feel inside, you can not afford to show it externally – they will feed off that and use it against you because you will be playing their game, and they are excellent at it.
10. Take Notes. If this is happening in a work setting especially, then you need to compile evidence of what is going on – photocopies of documents, photos (if practical), notes from conversations, and anything you can do should you need to make use of it later on. This is because psychopaths will try to twist the truth and make you doubt your own memory, since they can never be wrong or at fault.

You will notice that some of these tactics are similar to the ones recommended for dealing with toxic people too.

How Many People Are Psychopaths?

It is estimated that about 1% of people exhibit psychopathic traits – which means one out of every 100 people you know are likely to be psychopaths!

However, this figure increases to 25% when you look at males who are in prison.

Perhaps more disturbing are the results of a study conducted a few years ago (and discussed in the book “The Psychopath Test” by Jon Ronson), that concluded that one in five CEOs exhibited psychopathic traits.

Some say that this does not mean all those CEOs are actually psychopaths (or, of course, violent killers), but you can see how at least some of the traits of a psychopath would help somebody get to the top in business.

Can Psychopathic Behaviour Be Treated

It is commonly believed that a psychopath cannot be treated using conventional methods (e.g. drugs, group therapy, psychoanalysis).

In fact, some say it even makes them worse – they feel treatment is trying to manipulate them, which only makes them more cunning and deceitful as they try to avoid that manipulation.

Conclusion

The whole subject is fascinating, and while we see people we assume are psychopaths (e.g. the Joker in the Batman movies), we probably don’t consciously think of some of the people we know and work with as being psychopathic.

Maybe this is because many of them are adept at hiding their true nature, and maybe it’s because many of us don’t know what to look out for. It may also be the case that we see the behaviours but don’t recognize them for what they are, or we are too scared to do anything about the situation.

But the fact is, psychopaths can be dangerous, usually to our mental and emotional health, but also, in more extreme cases, to our physical health too.

As they saw, forewarned is forearmed – so be careful out there!

Additional Resources

These are suggestions for those who wish to delve deeper into any of the above:

1. Psychopath Book
2. Psychopathy Quiz (not to be taken too seriously!)