People With High-Functioning Anxiety Want You To Know These 6 Things

I have had the privilege of knowing a lot of wonderful and successful people who live with anxiety.

These people are willing to talk about their experiences with anxiety from a brave and vulnerable place. These people are parents and strong workers and wonderful athletes and friends.

Their anxiety is likely one of the least interesting aspects about their life from their perspective.

I am also a person who has experienced anxiety over the years and am still successful and high-functioning.

People with anxiety who are high-functioning want you to know these six things:

My Anxiety Does Not Define Me

People who experience anxiety, especially anxiety that can be seen in public, want you to know that their anxiety is not the only thing that defines them.

In fact, it is often the last thing they think about when they think about their identities. It is simply a part of what makes them who they are.

For example, it is easy to see a person have a panic attack in public and then think of them as the anxious person moving forward.

It is not true.

There is so much more about who they are that is important.

Remember, having anxiety could just mean they care an extraordinary amount! Caring could just manifest itself in this way.

I Work Hard At Overcoming My Anxiety And Need You To Respect The Work That I Do

People who experience anxiety also want you to know that it is not always an easy feat to work at this.

Some people practise their deep breathing and de-escalation skills every day! Other people choose to exercise regularly as a way of coping.

For example, a friend of mine runs. She runs because she loves to run but she also runs because it runs off some of the energy that comes with having anxiety. If she goes more than a few days without running her anxiety tends to be higher than if she had run.

So, if someone tells you that they need to schedule time every day to meditate or to run or to go to a therapy appointment, it means that this is extremely important.

They need you to respect and understand that this time is deeply important.

Validating the work that they do to overcome anxiety every day is very helpful.

I Know That My Anxiety Sometimes Seems Silly

Oftentimes people with anxiety may talk about their anxiety to other people and it seems completely ridiculous.

Preparing for a scenario that is so unlikely to happen because we are anxious seems silly at times, we know!

But, we cannot control the things that give us anxiety. We can only control how to handle it.

So, if we are preparing for how to handle a scenario you believe will never happen, it helps us to function.

Think about people who prepare for some sort of apocalypse. This may seem silly at times but it helps them to feel comfortable!

And that is valid!

And know that even though we know that these scenarios are unlikely to come true and know that we think they are silly also.

Sometimes we can even laugh about it. But, the anxiety is still there and it is not any less real to us.

Just Because You Cannot See The Anxiety, Does Not Mean It Is Not Real

Often, the most successful people experience the most anxiety! This includes CEOs, celebrities, and presidents!

People we think are highly confident who present as though they have all the answers are anxious too.

So, even if you cannot see the anxiety, it is still valid and real.

Never assume that just because I present as cool, calm, and collected means that I am completely lacking in anxiety. That simply is not true.

Many people work hard at not allowing their anxiety to present outwardly, for whatever reason.

So, if I begin to open up about and talk about my anxiety never think it is not valid or any different than anyone else’s, just because I am successful and high-functioning.

Some Days Are Easier Than Others

What you also need to understand about anxiety is that some days are better than others. That means there are some days where anxiety runs rampant and other days where anxiety is the last thing that we think about.

Please do not assume that if we have had little to no anxiety lately that it means we are “healed” of all anxious thoughts.

While that may be the dream, it is invalidating when people assume we do not struggle at all. It fails to acknowledge all the work we do when our anxious days are alive and well.

The Way We Get Things Done May Look Different Than The Ways That You Do

People who have anxiety and are still very high-functioning and successful may travel a different path from A to B than those who do not have anxiety.

This is okay!

For example, the way that a person who has anxiety prepares to host a large dinner party may include mindfulness, deep breathing, and more time than a person who does not have anxiety.

This may seem strange to individuals without anxiety but this dinner party will be just as lively and wonderful as the dinner party lacking in anxious thoughts. The preparation involved is just different.

Making assumptions and judgements about how we get our work done can be painful, so please just allow us to do our work however we need to.

Conclusion

Why is it important for you to understand all of this about individuals who are anxious but high functioning?

Because we are all community members together and have to work together in our personal and professional lives.

Understanding how individuals function with anxiety makes us more alike than we are different because even if you do not experience anxiety often, all people experience a degree of anxiety at times.

Identifying with each other helps us to be kind and loving towards one another and destigmatize the ways that we appear different.