Alternative Sounding Board Ideas

I’ve talked elsewhere about the need to talk to somebody if you’re depressed, or have other mental health problems, such as in this article about the ten things that helped me when I was really suffering.

In my case, after years of bottling everything up, I opened up to two or three friends, and I also attended both group and individual therapy, all of which I think helped to a degree.

However, there are occasions when the people you usually talk to aren’t available – and these sorts of problems can’t always wait.

And sometimes, you don’t need advice per se – you simply need to get something off your chest, vent (not at the other person but to somebody in general), or use another person as a sounding board.

I have often found that when I start explaining a problem (any problem – not just ones related to my mental health) to another person, with the intention of discussing possible solutions, the very act of describing the issue stimulates an answer to my problem before I even finish talking about it.

It’s possible that the answer would have occurred to me without voicing the problem out loud – but my admittedly anecdotal evidence points to something about the saying it out loud that is what’s doing the trick.

So, if you need a sounding board, and not necessarily any specific advice, what options do you have?

Well, there are a few that you could consider:

Warm Lines

Even though you may not have heard this term before, you can probably guess what they are: if a Hot Line is for emergencies and crises, where you need help right now, then a Warm Line is for those who need to talk but are not in immediate need.

They are confidential, so whatever you say will remain private between you and the person you speak to, and the person on the other end of the phone is likely somebody who has experienced mental health (or similar) issues themselves.

The best way to see if there is one near you is to do an Internet search for the term “warm line” followed by your location (e.g. city or state).

Journalling

I’ve talked about the therapeutic benefits of journalling here, but in summary, the act of writing down what’s on your mind, whether it’s a problem or just a rant about life in general, can be extremely helpful.

As I mention in the above-referenced article about the things that helped me, I wrote down everything I could think of about my depression and what had led me there, as well as what my options were and how I felt about it all, and it was immensely beneficial – it clarified my thoughts and let me start to move forwards.

So, talk to your diary or journal if that’s all that’s available.

You can actually write it down, using pen and paper, or you can use some sort of digital solution (e.g. a word processor, a notes app on your phone) – just make sure that whatever you write remains private, because the sort of thing you’re likely to be writing is probably not for anybody else to read.

And if you do want to keep it for posterity, you should consider some sort of security – a padlock, a password, or whatever.

A variation of the above would be to write down what you would want to say, but do it as a letter – to yourself, to a specific person, or to life in general

Then, once you’ve written your letter, and you’ve said all you need to say – burn it!

Again, what’s important here is getting it out so you can move on.

Tape Recorder

I have to confess this is not an option I’ve tried myself, but I do know of people who have found it helped them.

The idea is that, instead of talking to an actual person, you record your thoughts on some form of recording device, such as a tape recorder, a dictation device, or a recording app on your phone.

It may feel weird at first (unless you’re used to using a dictation device because of work, for example), and it’s obviously not a great solution if other people are within earshot.

Many people, myself included, do not like the sound of their own voice, but with this method, there is nothing that says you need to play back what you recorded, because the goal is to get whatever it is off your chest.

If you want to, you could save the recordings and listen to them later – maybe this would be one way to remind yourself of how much progress you’ve made.

But you can equally well delete the recording once it has served its purpose.

And, again, remember that you need to ensure whatever you record remains private.

Conclusion

The idea of using any sounding board mechanism is to get whatever’s bottled up inside of you to the outside – whether it’s to another person, in writing (physical or digital), or as a voice recording.

It took me a long time – arguably too long – to talk to my friends about my own situation, and I like to claim that’s because I know that we all have problems of our own, so why would you burden anybody else with yours.

But I think that was a lie I was telling myself – I think in reality I was trying not to have to accept I had a serious problem, and by talking to somebody else, you can no longer escape that conclusion.

Once I did tell my friends, then it was a huge relief, knowing that I was not carrying the weight of my issues all by myself. And that is in spite of my friends not really being able to directly help me – just them listening to me was enough.

And as I said above, writing down my problems, and everything connected to it, was also therapeutic – if I hadn’t done that first, I might never have escaped from my situation at all.

So, go with whatever works for you – but get those problems out there, wherever there may be.