30 Ice-Breakers To Overcome Shyness

We all know the feeling of hesitation when we have to meet a new person or group of people. It can be really overwhelming and scary at times to put yourself out there, socially, personally, or professionally.

This is especially difficult for people who are naturally shy.

If that is you, it is okay. I’m here to help.

Keep reading to learn about 30 icebreakers you can use to overcome shyness and start feeling better in situations that previously caused a bit of anxiety.

Technique A: Tell Me A Bit About You

Ask the other person or group of people about them so that you don’t have to constantly be putting yourself out there first.

This can help you judge the room and atmosphere and lead your social interactions.

A few questions to ask could be:

1. What do you like to do for fun?
2. Have you read any good books lately or listened to any memorable podcasts?
3. Do you have any pets? (People love talking about their animals)
4. Do you have any children? (People probably love talking about their children even more than their animals)
5. What do you do for work? Do you enjoy it?

Technique B: Talk About Something That You Are Really Confident In And Feel Good About

It is so much easier to talk about yourself if you are shy if you feel really confident in the thing that you are talking about.

If you have mastered a skill or recently traveled somewhere incredible, these can be easy things to talk about.

Below are a few statements that you could use to get started. Simply fill in the blanks with your personal information.

6. I recently received XXX training and am practicing often. (This is great for the shy athlete who can talk about their bicycling all day long.)
7. This summer I traveled to XXX.
8. I went to college for XXX.
9. I do XXX in my professional life.
10. I’ve been interested in XXX for many years now.

Technique C: Let’s Get A Bit Personal

Asking personal, but not too intimate questions, about the other person can be helpful in breaking the ice.

You might find that you have common ground somewhere that you can take off chatting about all day long. This could be a common interest or town you both grew up in. Who knows – the possibilities are really endless with this technique.

Please be aware, however, that these questions could trigger a few awkward situations. For example, if you ask about their family life and they had a traumatic event occur.

Be careful in your responses if something like this does happen as you do not want to make them feel or yourself feel uncomfortable.

Here are a few questions that you could ask:

11. Where did you grow up? Did you like growing up there?
12. Do you have any siblings?
13. Who were your idols growing up? What do you think about them now?
14. What are your favorite activities to do? How often do you do them?
15. Do you have any goals you are working towards? This could be short-term or long-term. What are the steps you are currently doing to meet them?

Technique D: Tell Me About Your Professional Life

A lot of people, while they do not always mean to, will start to go off on a tangent about their work.

This will save you as the shy person because you can simply listen until you find something else to ask or talk about.

Or you might get stuck listening to the other person for quite a while. Either way, your icebreaker needs are met with this technique.

Try these questions:

16. How did you become a XXX?
17. Do you have any advice for someone who wants to go into the same field as you? What would you tell them?
18. Do you enjoy your work? If so, why? If not, why?
19. What are you most proud of from your work? Is there one thing you have recently achieved that you feel really great about?
20. What do you think your future looks like, professionally?

Technique E: Ask About Their Partner

People love talking about their partners if they are in a happy and committed relationship because typically they are really proud of them.

This is always an area that you can find a lot of follow-up questions, as well such as asking them about how they met or how they proposed or how long they have been together.

This is a really fun technique. However, it could get tricky if you make assumptions about the gender of their partner. I suggest using gender-neutral pronouns until they offer their pronouns. You never want to assume someone is in a heterosexual relationship when they in fact are not. Making that mistake could get uncomfortable if the other person is offended.

Try these questions:

21. What does your partner do professionally?
22. What does your partner like to do for fun or as a hobby? Do you do that hobby together?
23. What do you love most about them?
24. Do you have any advice for new couples?
25. Do you have any upcoming plans with your partner that are exciting you would be willing to share? (Ask follow-up questions.)

Technique F: Do You Have Any Advice Or Recommendations?

People love to give advice. It makes them feel helpful. This is something that could be really helpful as an icebreaker if you notice something specific about the other person.

For example, if you notice they are great at applying their make-up and you want to learn how to do that, you might ask about it.

Make sure you are genuine, however, when you express interest. Do not pretend to be interested if you truly are not just for the sake of making conversation because it could eventually come out that you didn’t care all that much to begin with. That could make having a relationship with that person difficult.

A few of these questions might be helpful:

26. I’m going to be traveling to XXX and I know you’ve been there. What do I have to check out when I’m in town?
27. I know that you are into XXX and I want to start that as well. Where do I begin?
28. I am having this issue at work: XXX. Do you have any advice for what I should do?
29. I am struggling to find a show on Netflix to watch. Have you watched anything good lately that you would recommend?
30. What should I make for dinner tonight? (Simple but effective.)

Conclusion

There you have 30 questions in six different domains for overcoming shyness.

I imagine that somewhere in those icebreakers you will have found a few that resonate with you. Practise them in different settings and learn what feels most comfortable.

I hope that eventually you will not have any shyness at all and you will feel confident and calm in social situations. I know it isn’t that easy, however.

Good luck on your journey to overcoming shyness!

Additional Resources

These are suggestions for those who wish to delve deeper into any of the above:

1. IceBreaker Deck