16 Ways To Prevent Your Child Getting An Eating Disorder

People have been bombarded for decades now with countless images of the “perfect body”, primarily targetting women, but also men to a somewhat lesser but growing degree.

Of course, the “perfect body” that we see all over the place is a marketing creation – it is not based on what is actually healthy or good for you.

But when millions of people, particularly teenagers, see a myriad of models and actors, all with the same basic look, then, not surprisingly, they try to mimic that look.

And sometimes, the only way people feel they can achieve that look is to indulge in unhealthy eating habits. Unfortunately, what starts simply as a desire to look thinner, in many cases at least, becomes a mental health problem, i.e. one of many different types of eating disorder, which I’ve already written about in another article.

As with an increasing amount of advertising, the industry is trying to appeal to an ever younger customer base, and this is mirrored in the statistics: the average age at which most people develop an eating disorder is in the mid- to late-teens, but in some cases, it can start as young as eight.

While you can question the ethics and morals of almost forcing children to forgo their childhood and grow up too soon, and with ideas about the world that are often plain wrong, the fact is that this is a problem that is increasing.

So, the question is, what can parents do to try to set their children on the right path and not fall prey to this whole “perfect body” scam by developing eating disorders that can be dangerous?

This guide details a few of the things that responsible parents can do to help protect their children.

Be A Great Role Model

This applies to pretty much all aspects of life, not just eating habits, of course, because children learn as much by observing and copying others (especially their parents), if not more so, than they do by explicit teaching.

And they start absorbing information a lot sooner than many people realize – just because they may not yet be able to talk does not mean do not take in and remember things you say and do. This is a lesson some friends of mine learned the hard way – their child’s grandma was not impressed when a three-year-old used the F-word in front of her!

This is not only about what you eat though – it’s also about the way you talk about your own body, as well as those of other people’s. If you are constantly criticizing your body, going on fad diets, eating unhealthily, etc., then your children will mimic that, whether that was your intention or not.

The goal, then, is to be positive about your body, eat well, and exercise appropriately, so that your kids can learn and copy the right behaviours.

Be Accepting

It’s important that you accept your child exactly as they are. Every human being is unique, with their own innate talents and quirks, and it is not our role to change anybody – our children, our partner, our friends – other than ourselves, because that is, ultimately, the only person we have any control over.

So, what this means in practice, don’t comment on how you wish your child was any different (e.g. taller, shorter, thinner, prettier, more likeable or lovable).

Instead, teach them that it’s what’s inside that matters – what sort of person they are, their values and principles, how they treat others (especially those less fortunate than they are), including animals, and how to live with integrity.

By your accepting them as they are, it will help them to accept themselves.

Boost Their Self-Esteem

People with a healthy sense of self-esteem and self-respect are generally less likely to develop eating disorders, as well as other mental health problems.

So, you can help your children to develop these traits by encouraging them to participate in various activities, such as:

• Intellectual activities, including reading, playing strategy games like chess, joining quiz teams at school, learning a foreign language.
• Social activities, including family functions, events at school, going to friends’ parties, playing in the local park and meeting new friends.
• Sporting activities, whether this is something on offer at school, or external classes / clubs, family cycling outings, or something you can do in your own backyard.

Curtail Picky Eating

Most parents know that their children will be very picky about what they will and won’t, for a while at least.

However, studies have concluded that the major predictor in a child’s willingness to eat a certain food is familiarity.

Let’s face it, humans generally can be fearful or apprehensive about anything new, and children are no different. The first time you present them with something they’ve not eaten before, they are likely to be suspicious.

The keys, then, if you want your child to eat a wide variety of (preferably healthy) foods are:

1. Be persistent – don’t give them something once and then never try again if they won’t eat it the first time round. The more often you give it to them, the more likely they are to give it a try.
2. Let them see that you enjoy eating that type of food. Remember, children learn by mimicry, so they will copy their parents – but only if their parents are enjoying the food too. Older siblings who have already been through this stage can be unwitting accomplices here too.

Don’t Go On Diets

Diets usually treat the symptoms of a problem, like so much of allopathic medicine in general, while eating healthily is a preventative strategy for not needing to diet in the future.

If you can encourage your children to eat healthily, which likely means you will be too, then they may never feel the need to go on any diets, whether they be sensible or fad, later on in life.

Focus On Your Family, Not A Specific Person

What this means in practice is that you should try to ensure that everybody eats healthily and exercises appropriately.

What you shouldn’t do is tell one of your children they are putting on weight and restrict their diets or increase their exercise regimen, when everybody else in the family is still doing what they were doing.

Remember too that many times, children will “grow” sideways (i.e. fill out) before they grow upward (i.e. taller).

Health Education

It is important that you start talking about health, eating correctly, and the benefits of exercise, as soon as you can.

Another part of this discussion should be about how different people have different natural body shapes, and that trying to change that can have unhealthy and dangerous consequences.

I’ve already said that eating disorders can start as young as eight, and I have no doubt that this age will decrease over time, so while it may seem like an odd topic to talk about with them at such a young age, and I accept that there is so much information you need to pass on to your children, it’s crucial this message hits home before problems develop.

Learn About Eating Disorders

There are many more eating disorders than anorexia and bulimia, and you should be familiar with the most common ones, so that you can recognize the signs in your children, should the need arise.

By being aware of these symptoms, you can intervene before any problem becomes more serious.

Media Education

While I could talk about the benefits of minimizing your children’s access to screens, whether those be computer, television, or smartphones, children do need to understand that what they see on the media is not necessarily how life really works.

Fewer than ten companies in the USA actually control almost all of the media (including television, radio, and magazines), and those companies are in business for one reason only – to make money.

That means whatever the media portrays is biased because there is an ulterior motive.

So, back to the main topic here – you need to point out that the images they see on television, say, with all of those “perfect bodies” are frequently unrealistic and even unachievable for many people, and are in no way a good example of how everybody has to be.

Promote Attuned Eating

This is essentially a method that focuses on trusting your body to tell you what it needs, and when – e.g. what type of food it needs right now, when you’re hungry, when you’re full or have had enough.

Note that this approach has nothing to do with eating the “right” amount of foods or counting calories, for example. It’s more about eating naturally, because our bodies know what they need – there exists a finely tuned mechanism that tries to maintain the optimal balance between all of the necessary nutrients, vitamins, proteins, minerals, etc., and we need to learn to trust that mechanism and what it tells us.

If you’re concerned that your children will just keep eating and eating, then don’t worry. Once they become accustomed to this way of eating, it will not be a problem. True, they may overeat for a while, but that’s normal. It will stabilize, however.

For example, I once worked in a large bakery, and staff were allowed to eat what they wanted (e.g. cakes, pastries, pies). At first, not surprisingly, most new recruits stuffed themselves silly – until they got sick from eating too much and the novelty wore off, after which there were days when they wouldn’t even bother at all.

I have heard similar stories from people I knew who worked at chocolate / candy factories too.

And finally, one more example.

We have always practised free feeding with our dogs (anywhere from three to eight) – there are multiple food bowls they can go to at any time of the day or night. (Multiple bowls not only for their convenience, but also to minimize the risk of the dogs starting fights over access to food.)

When we’ve mentioned this to some of our customers, a few people have expressed concern that, dogs being dogs, they’ll just scoff the lot – but that’s not how it works.

They eat when they need to, and that’s it. They’re not at the food bowls all day, and none of our dogs have ever been overweight.

If dogs can regulate their food intake, I’m pretty sure we humans can!

Promote Emotional Resilience

Children (and people in general) who find it difficult to express and describe their emotions verbally (i.e. not via temper tantrums) are more prone to comfort eating, in order to relieve their feelings.

So, if you can help your child be more emotionally resilient (i.e. increase their Emotional Intelligence), and teach them that it’s OK to talk about how they feel (something girls are typically better at than boys, of course), then they may be less likely to be overweight through comfort eating – and then develop an eating disorder to counter that situation.

Promote Healthy Eating

This is a massive topic all by itself, and it’s hard these days to get to the bottom of what is healthy and what isn’t.

We are constantly being told that something is bad for you, only to be told the exact opposite later on. I get that the science is never settled (if it were, it wouldn’t be science), but it’s confusing and potentially dangerous when we are given misleading or inaccurate advice.

That means you will need to do some research of your own to try to get to the truth – because, again, what you see and hear about on television may be false.

Topics you will need to look into and consider include, for example:

• What are the benefits of organic food vs. non-organic food?
• Are GMOs safe or not?
• How much harm do pesticides and herbicides, such as RoundUp (which contains glyphosate, a likely carcinogen), really do to humans and other animals?
• Are carbohydrates as bad as some people say, and what’s the difference between “good” and “bad carbs?
• Should you eat a vegetarian diet, and if so, how will you ensure you’re getting all the nutrients, proteins, vitamins, essential minerals, etc. that you need?
• Are sodas something you want your children drinking, and are “diet” sodas any better for you or not?
• What is the difference between inflammatory foods and anti-inflammatory foods (since inflammation is a leading cause of so many health problems)?

The list is a lot longer than this, of course, and I have my own thoughts on all of those (after years of research of my own), but the key point is that you need to educate your children about the importance of diet – because we are what we eat.

And this requires you, of course, to educate yourself first. So, find some sources that you deem trustworthy (which may not be government ones), and follow them so that you can keep up-to-date with the latest discoveries and news.

Promote Moderate Exercise

All of us should exercise regularly, not because we want to try to change our body shape, but because there are proven health benefits.

This exercise needs to be appropriate (e.g. for our age and overall health), moderate (e.g. you don’t start off by running a marathon), and something you can enjoy without it feeling like a chore.

It can be as simple as going for a walk or hike, or cycling, yoga, tai chi, swimming, or something more strenuous like sports.

When it comes to your children, something you can do as a family makes sense, at least to start with until they develop interests of their own.

Reduce Stress

I don’t seriously believe that any responsible parent would seek to create a stressful environment for their children – and yet it happens, for all sorts of reasons (e.g. the pace of life today, both parents having to work, being a single parent, financial problems, lack of time to spend with their kids).

The problem is, stress, associated with higher cortisol levels, are associated with being unhealthy, and that can then lead to being overweight, and that in turn can cause eating disorders.

So, the less stress you cause your child, the less likely it is that this sequence of events will unfold.

Teach Them How To Handle Stress

Related to the previous topic, no matter what you do, your children will experience some form of stress at some point in their lives – because that’s just how it is.

So, it would be sensible to teach them various coping strategies they can employ as and when the need arises.

These would include some or all of the following:

• controlled breathing exercises
• meditation
• mindfulness
• tai chi
• yoga

You’ll find a variety of articles related to stress managed on this very site.

Treats Are Treats

The word “treat” implies something special, something you don’t get every single day.

And yet people today, including both adults and children, have come to expect a steady supply of treats, perhaps because of the modern culture of instant gratification, and maybe the apparently increased stress that everybody is under contributes to this too.

However, restricting your children’s access to junk foods (because that’s what many modern treats are in effect), and reserving them for special occasions, rather than banning them completely, teaches them that it’s OK, in moderation, to “splurge” a bit. This fits in neatly with the attuned eating discussed previously.

Remember, people on diets have what they like to call “cheat days”, but if you had a cheat day every day, your diet wouldn’t work.

Conclusion

While this guide is about preventing eating disorders in children, it actually covers a lot more topics than that, because few things stand in true isolation.

It touches on healthy eating, the need for exercise, self-esteem, emotional intelligence, and more – all of which can indeed help prevent children from developing eating disorders, but they are also useful tools in general.

Finally, remember that eating disorders are often complex problems, with multiple factors that can cause them. What this means is that you can do the best job you can, and still find your child develops an issue, through no fault of your own (and maybe not theirs either).

Additional Resources

These are suggestions for those who wish to delve deeper into any of the above:

1. Building Emotional Intelligence
2. Complete Food And Nutrition Guide