14 Warning Signs That Somebody May Be Contemplating Suicide

According to Mental Health America, there are 44,000 deaths by suicide each year in the USA (it’s the tenth leading cause of death overall, although it’s the second leading cause of death in people aged 15 – 24).

However, they also report that there is one successful suicide for every 25 attempts, so if 44,000 people actually succeed in killing themselves, that means there are approximately one million attempts per year.

This means it’s a distinct possibility that somebody you know either has made a suicide attempt, or is thinking about it.

The good news, if you can call it that, is that over 75% of people contemplating suicide do exhibit some sign of their intentions – which means it’s still possible to prevent what is almost always a needless death.

So, what are the warning signs you should look out for?

This guide details some of the most common red flags.

Some are fairly obvious, and while some are serious enough by themselves to cause concern (i.e. the ones indicated with a red flag icon – ), in some cases it may be a combination of these warning signs that could give you a clue that somebody you know is in a really dark place.

Talking About Not Wanting To Live

This one is not something people typically say in jest, so if you hear somebody say this, it’s a pretty significant indication that they are at risk.

Statistics show that people who talk about suicide are 30 times more likely than average to actually go through with it.

Feeling Trapped

While not potentially as large a red flag as the previous one, if somebody says they feel trapped (e.g. in life as a whole, rather than something more specific, like the job they’re in), then it’s time to worry.

Chronic Lack Of Motivation

By itself, this may not be too concerning – lack of interest in things you would usually enjoy is, after all, a classic symptom of depression – but if this persists for a long time (e.g. weeks or months), then it’s a short step from there to losing the will to live at all.

They Suffer From Depression Or Bipolar Disorder

This is not saying that everybody who has depression is a suicide risk – but studies do show that people with, say, bipolar disorder, are 20+ times more likely to try killing themselves than the general population.

Depression, in all its forms, comes with a wide array of symptoms, so the more of these a person displays, and the more severe those symptoms are, the greater the possibility that they are considering suicide.

Substance Abuse

There are two factors to consider here.

Firstly, people who use drugs and/or alcohol to excess can often become deliberately suicidal.

Secondly, without making a conscious choice about it, they may be abusing these substances with the subconscious hope that it will lead to their death.

Self-Harm

Again, not everybody who deliberately harms themselves is suicidal, but it can be, taken with other red flags, a sign that they could be heading that way.

Unexpectedly And Overly Happy

If somebody you know is suddenly happier than you would expect, and maybe appears to be trying too hard to put on a good face, then this may signal the exact opposite of the impression they’re trying to create.

Engaging In Risky Behaviours

Some people take up risky activities (e.g. mountain climbing) because they are adrenaline junkies, but others become willing to take on greater risks because they feel they have nothing to lose. And while they may not be actively choosing to kill themselves, they can certainly not care whether they live or die.

Giving Away Their Stuff

If people start to give away things they own, especially items that you know mean a lot to them, then this can be a signal that they are starting to say their goodbyes.

Searching For A Way To Kill Themselves

This is another reasonably obvious one. For example, if somebody is trying to buy a gun, especially if they’re not the “gun type”, then you should be very concerned.

It may not be so obvious though. Perhaps they are doing a lot of Internet searches on methods of killing yourself. (I spent hours and hours doing this when I was at my lowest.)

Or maybe they’re searching for or buying books on the subject. (I found one with a method that was supposed to be as close to pain-free as possible, with the greatest chance of success – and I came very close to following through with it.)

Feeling Like They’re A Burden To Others

This may be something like their depression talking, or it may be something much more serious.

Having No Purpose

Almost everybody, at some stage in their lives, questions their purpose, which seems to be a uniquely human concern (as best we can tell, of course).

Some people find it early on in their life, others (like me) take a lot longer, and some never really seem to discover what it is.

The truth is, your life’s purpose is what you make it.

Having said all that, if somebody is constantly talking about not having a purpose, perhaps while not apparently doing anything about it, then that could be one of the red flags.

Actually Saying Goodbye

This is another of the obvious ones – if somebody says “goodbye”, and there is no clear reason to do so (e.g. they are not emigrating, or are not moving to another city because of work), then they are likely very close to attempting suicide.

Making A Will

This is clearly not a sign, by itself, that indicates suicidal thoughts. For example, if the person is married, or is a parent for the first time, it would be normal to consider making a will, because it’s all part of protecting your family as best you can.

But if somebody makes a will who would appear not to have a pressing need to, then it could be a cause for concern.

Risk Factors

Apart from all of the above, which are mainly things a suicidal person may say or do, there are some factors that can increase the likelihood of killing themselves.

These include:

• brain injury
• childhood abuse
• family history of mental health problems and/or suicide
• previous suicide attempts (40% of successful suicides have tried to kill themselves previously)
• serious physical health conditions (e.g. chronic pain)
• stressful life events (e.g. divorce, bereavement, being fired from your job, rape)

Conclusion

So, if you see a friend, family member, or colleague exhibiting one or more of these potential red flags, then what do you do?

Firstly, trust your instincts that the person may be in trouble. This is especially true if it’s somebody you know well whose behaviour seems “off”.

Here are a few tips on how best to deal with the situation:

1. Talk with the person about your concerns, and remember to listen really carefully to what they tell you. And maybe don’t jump right in with something like “you look suicidal” – perhaps start by asking whether there is something wrong.
2. Ask direct questions, but don’t judge their responses. Again, listen carefully and try to determine if the person has a specific plan to carry out the suicide. Experience has shown that the more detailed the plan, the greater the risk.
3. Get professional help for them, even if the person is unwilling.
4. Try not to leave the person alone, particularly if you feel the risk is imminent.
5. Do not swear you’ll remain silent about it, even if they ask you to. While you obviously shouldn’t gossip about the person’s problems, a life is at stake here and you should do the responsible thing and consider talking to somebody who is best able to help them.
6. Try to remain neutral (i.e. do not act shocked).
7. Do not attempt to counsel the person yourself.

Finally, remember to recognize the difference between suicide and euthanasia, which is still illegal in many parts of the world, largely for ethical and moral concerns.

In one sense, of course, they are the same, but the motivation is very different. And while in most cases suicide makes no sense to anybody else, euthanasia to avoid additional months or years of suffering from a terminal condition, when your quality of life is low to zero, is easier to understand and accept.

Additional Resources

These are suggestions for those who wish to delve deeper into any of the above:

1. Find A Counsellor (USA Only)
2. US National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255)