10 Tips On Coping With The Loss Of A Beloved Pet

If you have a pet, then it’s reasonable to expect that, in most cases, you will outlive them.

Sad though it may be, there appears to be a general trend of animals (e.g. dogs, cats) not living as long as they used to. Nobody knows for certain what is causing this, but likely candidates, in my opinion, would be environmental toxins rather than genetics. For example, the quality of store-bought pet food has declined over the years, animals are being over-vaccinated, and the environment in general is just not as healthy as it used to be.

This being the case, it is highly likely that you and your family are going to have to deal with the loss of an animal who is as much a part of your family as your partner or children are.

And if you have children, remember that the death of a family pet may be the first time they have ever come face to face with the loss of somebody they love.

This can raise far more issues than helping them to cope with their grief – you may need to explain what death is (and what it isn’t).

I know it’s not a subject you really want to expose your children too when they are young, but death is real, and it’s something you’re going to have to talk about at some stage. The loss of a pet may force your hand, but in the long run, I think it’s better to bite the bullet and be honest about the subject.

So, this article details a few tips on how to cope with the loss of a pet.

Look After Yourself

When you’re grieving, it’s easy to let your self-care slip. For example, you may not eat when (or what) you should, or you may lose sleep.

However, however sad you may be feeling, it’s vital that you continue to look after yourself.

This is even more important if you have children, because they rely on you for their basic necessities too.

Make Sure You Allocate Time To Grieve

Most people need to go through the grieving process in order to reach a state of acceptance that somebody they love has gone.

With today’s hectic pace and schedule, this may be difficult, but you need to let those emotions out, by yourself and/or as a family, because nothing good ever came from bottling things up.

Make The Most Of Your Time With Other Pets

Many families have more than one pet, or, when they lose one, they adopt another.

So, if you’ve lost your furry friend, remember to enjoy every single day you have with them, because, compared to humans, their lives are somewhat short, for the most part.

Memorialize Your Pet

Since most people bury their pets in the backyard, you can easily create a little memorial garden around them. For example, this could include:

• a headstone (bought or made)
• flowers
• one or more of their favourite toys
• photographs

And if you prefer to have your pets cremated, you can put their ashes in a special box (again, you could buy one or make one).

The box can be decorated, maybe with their paw print if you have one, their name tag, or anything else personal.

And then you can place the box somewhere where you will see it frequently, maybe with one or more photos of them. Yes, this may remind you of their loss at first, but as time goes on, you will see it more as a reminder of the good times you shared.

Another option, especially for children, is to let them create something special. Remember, most people are creative and imaginative when they are young, and creativity can be therapeutic too.

And lastly, you can find various everyday products that can be personalized as mementos of your pets (e.g. coffee mugs, garden stones, hooded blankets, keyrings). Note that these can make gifts for friends of yours who have lost pets too.

Plan On Adopting Another Pet

Whether you already have another pet (who may now be lonely) or the pet you lost was your only one, you should plan on adopting another one as soon as you can.

I have spoken to countless people who have lost pets to infections such as Canine Parvovirus, and I cannot recall a single one who ever said they were done with pets and would not adopt any more.

You adopted the pet who died for a reason (e.g. companionship, to help your children learn about caring for others and friendship, because you wanted to rescue a homeless animal who would otherwise be euthanized), and those reasons likely still exist.

Yes, it may be hard, and you may feel like you’re betraying the memory of the pet who died, but getting another pet does not, of course, mean you have forgotten the one you lost or love them any less.

Practise Calming Activities

By calming activities, I mean any of the following:

• controlled breathing exercises
• listening to music
• meditation
• mindfulness
• tai chi
• yoga

These all offer great health benefits anyway, but using these techniques when you’re grieving can also be very beneficial.

Again, you can do these activities by yourself, or you could do them as a family (or, at least, with your children).

Relive Pleasant Memories

There are several reasons why people choose to adopt pets, one of which is that they brighten our lives.

So, the chances are that if you have lost a pet, you have a lot of fond memories of your time together.

What can be helpful then is to recall those memories, either by yourself or with your family.

This may involve discussions (e.g. “do you remember when…”), looking at photo albums, or watching home videos.

Share Photos On Social Media

Most pet owners have photos (or videos) of their furry friends, many of which will be cute or funny.

Sharing these on social media (e.g. Facebook, Instagram) can be helpful because it reminds you of the joy they brought to your life, and it allows others to share in your fond memories.

Try Distractions

Whether this is for you or your children, distractions can be, as the name implies, a great way to take your mind off painful thoughts and feelings – for a while, at least.

This could involve, for example, any of the following:

• doing something creative (e.g. art, music, writing)
• playing games (e.g. card, board, charades, or sports)
• reading
• shopping (e.g. for new clothes)
• watching comedy movies

Remember, though, that this should probably not be an activity you used to do with your pet, because then it will be hard not to dwell on your sad thoughts – which is not what the distraction is all about.

Write A Letter

Sometimes, people find it helpful to write a letter to those they have lost, and while this letter is usually written to people, there is no reason it cannot be just as beneficial when written to pets too.

In this letter, you can talk about:

• how they came into your life
• other dogs, say, that they met and befriended
• places you walked
• the fun you had together
• their favourite toys and treats

Don’t forget to close off by saying how much you love them, that you will miss them, and, finally, say goodbye.

If you can turn this into a story, so much the better, since stories can be healing.

This can be a great way to help older children cope with the loss too.

If several members of your family write such letters, you may want to consider having each person read their letter out loud.

And then you can either keep these letters (e.g .in a binder), or with the memorial box if you have one, so you can re-read them later on if you need to.

Conclusion

Losing a pet is never easy – I’ve had to say goodbye to many during my life, both as a child and as an adult – and I’m not even the emotional type.

But it’s something we, as guardians of our furry friends, cannot ignore. Everything in life has a cost, and the cost of having a pet in our lives that shows us unconditional love and brings us joy is that, one day, they are no longer going to be with us.

Finally, I would suggest that you check out a similar article that deals with grief and bereavement, that is more focused on how to cope when it’s a person who is close to you that dies.

Additional Resources

These are suggestions for those who wish to delve deeper into any of the above:

1. Books That Teach Children About Death
2. Find A Grief Counsellor