10 Symptoms Of Post-Narcissist Stress Disorder

Have you ever loved someone that you felt no matter what you did you could not do anything right for them? Did they leave you feeling less of a person than you were before and especially less than they are? Did you notice your self-esteem crumble the more time you spent with them? Were they always right and you were always wrong?

This sounds like a difficult relationship, right? Right.

This person could have had narcissistic characteristics or tendencies. You could likely experience feelings of stress and distress after having had a relationship with someone who experiences narcissism or has a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality disorder.

These feelings are not your fault but they can be very difficult to manage.

What Is Narcissism?

Narcissism generally refers to a set of symptoms displayed by people diagnosed with or having symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

NPD is a lifelong pattern of inflexible behaviour that is typically where the person lacks empathy for others, has a strong desire to be in control, experiences exaggerated feelings of self-importance, and requires a significant amount of praise or admiration from others.

These people can be quite charming at first. They have the ability to lure you in.

Quickly though, they may tear you down as a way of getting their needs met. They may be preoccupied with power, success, presentation, or worth. And they may take advantage of others to get what they want.

What Is Post-Narcissist Stress Disorder (PNSD)?

Post-Narcissist Stress Disorder (PNSD) is experienced by someone who has shared life experiences or had a relationship in some way with someone with narcissistic tendencies or NPD.

They present symptoms consistent with post-traumatic stress as related to knowing and interacting with this person.

The person who experiences PNSD may have significant symptoms as related to knowing and interacting with the narcissist.

So what are the symptoms of Post-Narcissist Stress Disorder?

Fear Or Anxiety

The person experiencing PNSD will likely present with an amount of fear or anxiety. Remember that fear is based on feelings of our health and safety being threatened and anxiety is perceiving health and safety threats that are not typically real.

This fear or anxiety presence could be related to fearing having another relationship like the one with the narcissist. They could have anxiety that others will hurt them or manipulate them in some way because they just experienced that in their past relationship.

This could lead to panic attacks or generalized anxiety that appears to have no starting or ending point.

Triggers

This person may be easily triggered, much like in post-traumatic stress. They could be triggered by believing they saw the narcissist they knew. They could be triggered by smelling something that reminded them of the person or feeling as though they heard the person.

Triggers could sometimes prompt flashbacks to occur for some people.

Flashbacks

The person could experience flashbacks that will likely be distressing. Flashbacks are the experience where a person almost goes back in time and sees or mentally relives an event from their past.

This flashback is uncontrollable. It feels very real and they often believe they are actually there and cannot disassociate from the memory or flashback. This in itself feels very unsafe.

Experiencing flashbacks will typically prompt additional fear or anxiety because of the fear of having another flashback.

And this kind of cycle is difficult to break free from and may require outside support from a professional such as a counselor or psychiatrist.

Lack Of Worth

The narcissist could have told the person they have no worth many times over the course of their relationship. Typically if we are told something over and over, it is easier to believe or take on the communication as true about ourselves.

The person experiencing PNSD will likely have a diminished sense of self-worth as related to the relationship or from being told they simply have no worth in their relationship.

They will therefore have to rebuild this self-love or self-worth. This will take time and energy and also may require support.

Lack Of Trust In Self

Typically narcissists are very personable people at first. Because of this initial attraction to the person, eventually a person may not believe in their ability to identify and engage in safe relationships because they were in fact enamored by the narcissist at first.

They may have a lack of trust in their ability to assess other people and identify relationships with boundaries and with safe individuals.

This lack of trust in self could prevent someone from taking personal or professional risks, which can greatly impact their life.

Lack Of Trust In Identifying Relationships

This lack of trust in self makes it very difficult to engage in healthy and loving, intimate relationships in the future.

Individuals experiencing PNSD may avoid intimate or sexual relationships because of this lack of trust in their ability to judge who may or may not be a safe partner.

Isolation

People with PNSD will likely isolate as related to the fear and anxiety of being hurt again by someone else. This isolation can lead to additional mental health struggles like depression and more significant anxiety. And this in turn could lead to self-harm and additional dangerous symptoms.

Isolation should not be taken lightly.

If you notice a friend or loved one experiencing this, or you are yourself, ensure that they or you gets support to reconnect with safe people. This will help them begin to repair what may have been lost from the relationship with the narcissist.

Engage In Risky Behaviour

While some may isolate, others may engage in risky behaviour after the end of their relationship with the narcissist. This could be related to no longer loving, caring, or trusting in themselves. They may feel such a lack of worth that they want to drink, drug, or engage in risky sexual behaviour.

This could lead to dangerous outcomes such as overdoses, disability, legal problems, or even death.

Numbing

Numbing, or intentionally reducing the feelings being experienced may occur.

Some people may have such significant feelings from the end of their relationship with a narcissist that they desire to numb those feelings. This too could be through drugs or alcohol. It could be through ignoring one’s feelings and no longer engaging in self-reflection. It could be through isolation or over-eating.

Numbing can look very different depending on who is doing it.

Present As Very Emotional

Other people may present with what appears to be very emotional feelings. They could have significant mood swings that seem abnormal. They could be very angry, then very happy, then very sad.

They could be hard to follow or track because of this.

Other people may not even want to be around them because of how volatile their emotions are. Presenting as emotional after the relationship is common.

Conclusion

A relationship with the narcissist probably felt like a roller coaster that they could not quite get off of and then once they did they were not sure how to move forward.

If you or someone you love is experiencing significant emotions, remember to be graceful with them or with yourself. It is valid and okay to experience the end of this relationship however is needed.

Additional Resources

These are suggestions for those who wish to delve deeper into any of the above:

1. Co-Dependency Recovery Guide